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I Was Manipulated By My Ex

And He Taught Me Well

By: snowberry75
Written on October 13th, 2011
Age: 36-40 , Female
331 people have read this story

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13 responses
  • ToSpecial

    I am sorry you had to go through with that I was in a mental abusive marriage, and never thought i can handle leaving bc of the hurt from it bc i tought i loved him but once i got on my own and got over it i thought to myself how in the world did i stay that long then i realize it was not love and knew then i can do things on my own and now i am remarried and really know what real love is

    Dec 11, 2011
    1 like
  • shellzz

    I love that you had the courage to get out of a situation like that and you did it well!

    Oct 14, 2011
    2 likes
    • snowberry75

      Thank you shellzz :)

      Oct 14, 2011
      1 like
  • Anandadas

    When you first met your ex were there signs of his abusive nature, if not, do you think you ignored his negative qualities? I got told that when people first meet they do say what they are like but we chose to ignore it. Looking back on my past abusive ex's it is true for me! I hope he wasn't violent to you because that is just nasty. I have problems with my spine and use a wheelchair and one of my ex's actually hit me on my spine which was so painful, I was a mess for months! All because I refuse to play games! I really do believe in respect for all life and run away as fast as I can from manipulative people. I often wonder how a stone like heart can experience love which means their lives must be so shallow because a heart without love is the most loneliest and coldest of all existences and I feel sorry for them. Good luck to you all.

    Oct 14, 2011
    2 likes
    • snowberry75

      There are always warning signs that often get blinded by what is called the honeymoon stage. And in emotionally abusive relationships often times its so gradual you dont realize until its too late. He wasnt physically violent directly to me but around me. It has the same affect after awhile, you see someone throw things and you cant help but wonder if your next. Fear is a huge manipulative tool caused by deep rooted insecurity. That if allowed can overcome any good heart. Its not that they are that cold or empty hearted its that they are that self centred and filled with insecurity.

      Oct 14, 2011
      1 like
  • OoLunaoO

    You know what? You did the right thing at that moment, I think we were both involved with the same type of guy your words sound so familiar but manipulating and head/emotional games I hate them. The first thing that comes to my mind is: if somebody is supposed to love you why do they treat you like that. The problem is after being in an abusive relationship for a long time is hard to trust a man again, not all man are the same but the scars are deep enough is not something easy to get over it

    Oct 14, 2011
    2 likes
    • snowberry75

      So, so, so very true my friend. It really takes a beating on the way you interpret others and learning to trust others again. It comes down to really evaluating your own situation with an outsiders viewpoint and be able to pinpoint those red flags and learning when to recognize them in others before you get caught up in it again. Heres an interesting stat for you: new relationships started within a year of leaving an abusive relationship have a higher risk of becoming abusive as well. The womens shelter warns you against finding a relationship to soon afterwards because you are still in the frame of mind of a victim. It takes time to heal, learn and overcome that. You are at your weakest during recovery. And yes it takes time to let go and overcome it.

      Oct 14, 2011
      1 like
  • 1changingheart

    My wifes EX was such a control freak,

    He tried to manipute me.

    Wife and myself were talking about that last night.



    SATY NO TO MANIPULATION!!!!

    Oct 14, 2011
    2 likes
    • snowberry75

      Manipulation has a way of making you suspicious of every word or action, the issue with that is learning the difference between a manipulator and someone who is truly honest.

      Oct 14, 2011
      1 like
  • mother1983

    We have a lot of people like your husband too. Frankly I think is sad that you have go through this kind of thing.

    Oct 14, 2011
    2 likes
    • snowberry75

      It is sad but alas I am here to tell the story and allow others to share in it. Maybe someone will gain courage to do the same for themselves.

      Oct 14, 2011
      1 like
  • mother1983

    wow...

    Oct 13, 2011
    3 likes
    • snowberry75

      Yep, I shocked myself as well. You never know what you have until its put to the test.

      Oct 13, 2011
      1 like