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Help I'm Married to a Sociopath and Don't Know What to Do

  I am not a sociopath but I believe my husband is.  I am in the process of getting divorced and I am also pregnant with his child.  He has been abusive physically, emotionally and verbally which is why I am divorcing him.  He is great at manipulating people and he always plays the victim.   He has custody of his other 2 daughters and I am afraid for them.  He treats them horribly and I can never prove any of this because its all emotional and they are too afraid to speak up.  He lies really well and I am afraid he is going to get away with it in court.  He has before.  He has fooled all his friends (because he doesn't let them close enough), councilors, and even judges.   He suckered me into marrying him and I believe it was so it looked better when he was fighting for custody of his daughters. The following is something I posted on another site in May. 

 

  I'll tell you my story from the beginning. I got together with my husband in July of 08 and married him the following September. I had known him 10yrs before and thought I wasn't rushing into it. About a month after we got married his anger started to show more and more. It started with is daughters (always yelling and swearing at them) and then constant arguments with me over stupid things like if I said something or not or if he said something or not. Sometimes I say something and don't remember saying it but I know its not as much as he claims. That put me into a depression that lasted for the entire winter. In November one of our arguments turned physical (pushing and shoving and a few times he put his arms around my neck and I couldn't breath), I left and went to my mothers. A few days later he convinced me to come home and that it wasn't going to happen again. Things were OK for about 2 wks then the anger started to flare up again. In January it happened again only this time it was much worse. We had an argument and he told me to leave so I went to leave and as I was stepping out the door he grabbed my coat and through it on the floor, I put my foot in the door to stop him from shutting it (he claims I hit him with the door) and pushed my way back in. As I was reaching for my coat he grabbed it again and through it in the bedroom. I went to get it and he shut the bedroom door behind me and held it shut. I went for the window (I should have locked the door) and tried to climb out. He heard me and came in, grabbed the back of my collar and through me on the bed. We wrestled around (I was trying to get away), several times I was face down on the bed with my head being shoved into the mattress, and several more times I had a pillow shoved in my face. I couldn't breath and became scared for my life. Finally I broke away and ran, I called a friend to pick me up and take me to my moms. This time I filed a restraining order. But yet again he convinces me to come back blaming both physical outbursts on chantix and I dropped the restraining order. Things are fine for 2 wks again. Most of the things that would make him upset were things I wasn't doing because I was depressed. Hes always telling me I just don't want the responsibility. We got into another argument at the end of February which didn't turn extremely physical. He told me to leave so I started gathering my stuff while he kept ripping things out of my hand and telling me I have to just leave because I'm not on the lease so therefor I was trespassing (the cops told me otherwise. That didn't apply cause we are married). He had pushed me down on the couch trying to get something out of my hand and I had to struggle with him to get up. He then called the cops on me saying I hit him repeatedly. By the time the cops show up my sister was there and all my stuff was out. They asked me a bunch of questions, if he assaulted me, I said we struggled a bit, if he had in the past, I said yes. They told me he had a few scratches on his arms that he said I did, I told them I don't even have any nails maybe he got scratched by my ring in the struggle. They asked to see my nails and said wow you weren't kidding, she couldn't have made those. Then they said he claimed I hit him. I said no but maybe he got hit in the struggle but I never intentionally hit him. So he gets arrested. I didn't press charges this time but he has a trial for both times he got arrested coming up. For a third time I go back. He suggests I might be bipolar and I look it up and find a lot of the symptom's fit. Again things are OK for a few weeks. I started seeing a therapist. He now has new footing in an argument, I'm bipolar and need to learn to work on my "issues". I went to have myself diagnosed ( she said there is nothing wrong with me). He still believes I'm bipolar though. April 14 I find out I am pregnant. Just 2 weeks after I told him I never want to have kids with him because of the way he treats his. When I tell him about it hes not happy. The timing sucks, neither of us working and he is about to loose his housing because of the arrests. 3 days after I tell him (we have been arguing about everything since) we get into an argument about how far along I am. They go by your last period so I was 7 weeks, he says no your only 5 if you were 7 then we weren't together at that time. So I said I had enough and wasn't going to have a miscarriage (I had 3 when I was younger) because he was stressing me out too much and went to my moms. Its now May 7th, we been talking and I have been going to visit about twice a week. I told him I'm not coming home till he works on his anger issues. I don't believe they can just go away over night but he insists that he has changed already. He still blames me for his anger and uses his daughters to guilt trip me saying things like "you have no idea the pain your putting me and the girls through". He also says things like "I have to work on my issues but you don't have to work on your own?" meaning my bipolar issues. I feel torn because on one had I do love him and his daughters but on the other I don't know if I can ever get over the physical fits we got into or if he really can change his anger problems. I'm constantly telling him its not what causes the anger but how you deal with it. Now I have lied to him about a few things nothing major Ive never cheated on him (he accuses me of that too) and he thinks that my lying is just as bad as the fights we got into. I don't see it the lies I told him never made him fear for his life like the fights we got into.

  Since then he has accused me of prostitution, having a criminal record, sleeping with my ex's children, and trying to break into his house.  He lies about everything and gets away with it.  He blames everything on other people.  Everything is always worse for him in his eyes.  He always has to be right about everything and if proven wrong he says the resources are wrong.  I have been to child services and they wont do anything to protect the girls.  My biggest fear is that he will lie about me in court and get away with it.  I just don't know how to handle this situation and keep running into dead ends.  He is so good at what he does and I don't know how to deal with him.  The worst part is he doesn't think what he is doing is wrong.  I just don't get it, how can one not see his own actions?

kikikyta kikikyta 22-25, F 16 Responses Sep 1, 2009

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I am the wife of a sociopath bordering psychopath. I have a world of experience and am currently writing a book about my life with him. I have a website I just started lifewithasociopath.net where I have forums for support, education etc. I hope you'll stop by there too and check it out for more information on a life with sociopath or psychopath. I'm also dedicating the last chapter of my book to short stories of people who have a sociopath in their life and how it's affecting them and need submissions if anyone is interested.

There are really people in this world who do evil things and have know regret. My husband is one and it hurts so bad but its good you can leave yours. I would rather die then leave my husband but he I think is evil . He does things like when I am begging him not to withdraw his love and cancel something I've been planning he will drive me as far as me getting on my knees and begging him and then he will pull his **** out and say then suck my ****. He actually mentally drives me to do such and I have told him I don't like that. He treats my body like a toy and says he hopes I am not fertile so I only have sex for pleasure and nothing else ( I love my kids and want more. ) he abuses me physically Nd emotionally And he also screams and swears at our children. He never helps with anything and actually says he cut himself real short in life by marrying me and a good women would want sex everyday and whenever her man tells her too and would suck her husbands ****. He plays computer games all day and if I or the children interven he starts yelling " god damit" he will play his games even if I M crying saying I want to spend time with you. He names his characters after me but refuses to give me attention . When we do go out he says I have a problem because I like to be out All the time but the only place I ever good the grocery store and occasionally another responsibility. He yells things like I am going to beat you. He has actually abused me in ways that are degrading that implies to me being a child like spanking me ( which is more like a beating) . My bruises cover my body but he bears no remorse . He does not beg for me to come back or ever makes up he just does what he is going to do and moves on. I love him but he ain't sane

I am the wife of a sociopath bordering psychopath. I have a world of experience and am currently writing a book about my life with him. I have a website I just started lifewithasociopath.net where I have forums for support, education etc. I hope you'll stop by there too and check it out for more information on a life with sociopath or psychopath. I'm also dedicating the last chapter of my book to short stories of people who have a sociopath in their life and how it's affecting them and need submissions if anyone is interested.

I need help. I think my husband is a sociopath because he grabs me and hits me without realizing he is.its like he forgets. He also lies. He says its a disease that he lies without realizing he is lying. What can I do?

I am the wife of a sociopath bordering psychopath. I have a world of experience and am currently writing a book about my life with him. I have a website I just started lifewithasociopath.net where I have forums for support, education etc. I hope you'll stop by there too and check it out for more information on a life with sociopath or psychopath. I'm also dedicating the last chapter of my book to short stories of people who have a sociopath in their life and how it's affecting them and need submissions if anyone is interested.

I was married for 5 years to a man who I think is a psychopath with schizophrenia.<br />
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We've been separated for 3 years now, and I finished going through court almost a year ago with him. Fortunately for me he has been denied access to my babies and isn't allowed to know where we are. My ex was very violent (broke my jaw, my collarbones, my tailbone and caused a misscarriage) and very manipulative and cunning. It takes a long time to realise to what extent it was - but eventually you do figure it out. He also sexually abused me.<br />
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He's on a community order enforceable by the cops for schizophrenia - but personally I don't think his violence is caused by the schizophrenia as I have a friend who has schizophrenia but is as gentle as. My ex enjoyed causing pain - it took me a long time to really understand that.<br />
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To start with, the violence won't get better, it will only get worse. Each time you leave he will get more angry and will work out ways to entrench you deeper. He will work out every weakness you have and use it against you to corode your self-esteem.<br />
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Second, do NOT keep in contact with him. If you keep contact with him and talk with him he will work on you until you give in and go back. <br />
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Third, don't feel sorry for him. It's hard when you would love those girls - but at the end of the day, you can't take them with you because legally it would be almost impossible, AND you have the bub in your belly to think of. Your child needs to you to stay away. <br />
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Fourth, get as far away from him as you possibly can whilst you are still pregnant. It gets soooo much harder once the baby is born.<br />
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Fifth, DOCUMENT everything. Document everything he says, everything he does, the way it's done. Don't lie in court about anything - if you lie it will catch you out - his lies will catch him out in court. He might be a smooth liar (like mine was/is) but nothing can beat documentation and the truth.<br />
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Sixth, go to a domestic violence group. I cannot underestimate how important this step is.<br />
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AND Seventh, if you do go back, know that you can still get out again. It's not impossible. But this time plan, document and get the help of an experience domestic violence worker or social worker to help you get out as you go.

I have been married to a sociopath on and off for almost 24 years. My life with him is too embarassing to even put on paper. It is easy to advise people to leave, but these type of people crush the people they are closest too, leaving a person with no means...emotional, intellectual or financial to escape. I have lived through financial disasters repeatedly and when I attempt to leave, he describes the financial and legal disaster that he will create for me that will leave me with no other choice but to kill myself. I know you think that it can't be that bad but believe me, it is. He had no problem borrowing money from his parents with promise to repay, then laughing when he conned them out of their life savings...forcing them into bottom end nursing homes with nothing. He has created situations that force me to lie, for if I don't, he has set me up to be blamed for things that border on illegal. It seems that I am always catching up and solving or re-building our lives. Just when I think that I have solved one disaster, he has already created another nightmare while I was so distracted with the previous one. <br />
He is like an actor who loves his fans...people who love him from a distance as they don't know him. He has no real friends. Our true former friends have chosen distance as his behaviour is too immoral for them. He has ruined people's businesses, other's jobs and careers but most importantly he traumatizes his own family. Most of our kids have left and I hope that when my youngest graduates, my husband will finally chose to abandon me and move on to something more glamorous. It is like being married to a terrorist and although there are many victims, his own family suffers the worst. Except for physical abuse, he has every characteristic that is described in the definition of a sociopath. He accepts no responsibility for any trouble he causes, has no sympathy or empathy for anyone and lives everyday like it his last day without any concern for any financial or family obligations he has. He has become an alcoholic of late so his behaviour is even more abhorrent including forgetfulness as well. I once called a mental health line and after an hour conversation, the operator told me she had no idea what to tell me or even who to call. There are no help groups for victims of sociopaths and like me, the life we lead is so humiliating and debilitating, there seems to be no way out. A sociopath eventually destroys the person you use to be. I barely recognise myself as the adventurous, gregarious, honest, caring and happy person I use to be to the barely hanging on, hollow,angry, desparate and hopeless thing that I am now. That is what a sociopath does...blinds and destroys ones ability to find a way out. I can leave anytime but the truth is I just don't know if I can survive the lawsuits, bankruptcy and homelessness that will follow. <br />
If you are young and experiencing anything similar to this, leave now. You may think that you will have nothing but it isn't true. You will have time and time changes everything. Find a family member, friend, group, anyone to confide in and seek help, then just leave. You are young and will have the energy to start over. It will be hard at first but regaining control over your life will be worth millions.<br />
A sociopath cannot and does not love. Affections are a means to an end. I use to think that if he loved me, he wouldn't do it. He will learn from his mistakes and change. If I try harder, things will improve. Believe me, absolutely nothing will change them. They cannot change and see no reason to. I finally realized that it had nothing to do with who I was or what I said or did. But truthfully, this realization doesn't always overcome the degradation and hurt I feel when he drools over younger and beautiful women. It is meant to hurt and humiliate and it does. Again, if you are young; get out now! You don't want to become me...looking at my life and wondering where it went so fast with so much unhappiness. Not all sociopaths are as cunning as mine is, so there is hope for you. <br />
I am hoping to make that leap soon but the fear of having nothing to show for my 50+ years of life will be too heavy an achor to carry around my neck. Knowing I had the ability to have done so much and to have accomplished so little is catastrophic. Worrying that I may eventually become a burden to my children is also paralyzing. Self pity is creeping in here so it is time to sign off. Leave while you can and enjoy your future.

Thank you so much for sharing your experience as it has really given me hope. It is now 3 am and I have been up all night researching how to leave a marriage with a sociopath while my 1 and a half year old sleeps with my mother in the other room. I have run to her apartment once again in fear and desperation. I am thankful for the people in my life that love me and beg me to end this chaos, but it so hard from them to understand what it is like to be in my situation. I have tried to leave so many times and actually even had a restraining order for me and our son against him but after 2 weeks he had convinced me to drop it, that he would change and promised things would get better for us. They havent. In the 1 and a half years we have been married we have never had our own place although he promises me security constantly. He sleeps on his parents couch while I was forced to move 45 minutes away from my work and friends with a cousin of mine out of desperation and homelessness because he had stolen everything I had to support his addiction. Hevcant hold a job for more than a few months and is constantly arguing with his family and getting kicked out of his parents house. He is no longer welcome at my apartment because he stole so much money from me i was unable to pay my my share of the bills for 2 months. He has no sense of responsibility, morals, or regret and blames everyone else for his own shortcomings. He convinces me that everyone in my life is plotting against us and they are actually the ones getting into my head. Our biggest tragedy happened about a month after I found out I was pregnant with our son. He joined the navy to make a better life for us. Everyone was so proud of him as he has never really committed to anything in his life and he was doing the right thing for his family. 2 weeks into boot camp he gave me a vague phone call saying he was coming home but couldn't tell me why. I panicked. I called as high up as I could at the boot camp to find out what was going on, and the man told me that he was not able to release any information because my husband had signed a non release form. So he came home, swore up and down it wasn't his fault he got sent home. So once again I was convinced to give "our family" another shot. That was 9 months ago and I am still here in the same situation. Today he made me leave work because "he didn't have any diapers because he left them in my car. I left work on my break to bring them to him by now he had no where to go. Since he had our son for the day I began to question what his plans were and he got defensive. Things got physical again and this time I let my rage get the best of me when he was saying hurtful and abusive things to me and I hit him first. In attempt to stop me from hitting him he took my hand and bent my fingers back until they snapped. My adrenaline was pumping so I didn't notice the pain. I tried to go back to work after this argument but had to ask to leave because I was a mess and fear full for my son to be with him. I left and had my sister come with me to pick my son up from him. I was able to get him back under the promise of letting him have him for the day tomorrow since we agreed he would have him on the weekends. I'm scared of what he will do if I don't show up to drop him off since he has already threatened to call the cops on me and come to my mom's house to get him. My son can stay with my family while I work tomorrow but I am scared he will come after them. If I call out of work and go my apartment he will find me there too. I feel like I have no where to go and it makes me just want to give him what he want. If you or anyone else on here has any advice please let me know. Thanks for listening.

I too am married to a sociopath. We've been married 4.5 years. I finally left him nearly 6 months ago. He is emotionally cold, hard, manipulative and deceitful. He has no empathy for people. He blames others (including me) for his problems. He is always the victim. Other people love him-his boss and co-workers, and my mother. He uses his charm to manipulate them, and he plays upon people's sympathy. He manipulated me for years. That is why I married him, and stayed as long as I have. I had misgivings about marrying him. My stomach was tied in knots. It did not feel right, and I did not trust him. Whenever I told him I would leave-I did not feel loved by him, he would cry, cry, and cry. He would hyperventilate, and threaten suicide. I married him out of pity and fear. Great motivators, those emotions, but terrible reasons to get married-or to stay married. Each time, after we got married, I told him I wanted a divorce, he'd cry, take pills, and threaten suicide. I got tired of being held emotional hostage by him. And BTW, he cheated on me too! There are two women I found out about, and I suspect there are more. I was emotionally abused by him. The marriage whittled away at my confidence. He could be heartless and cruel-not caring one iota about my feelings. Lesson learned-follow your common sense, instinct, and gut. Do not marry when you have doubts. I did not know before marriage he is a sociopath (he has all the characteristics), but there was enough before the marriage to give me pause-namely, the emotional coldness. I did suspect he had emotional problems. I now have an Order of Protection against him. He emotionally abused me during the marriage, and has harassed and stalked me afterwards-other forms of abuse. He is an emotionally unstable person who is angry, frustrated, and easily offended. I think he is dangerous. I will soon divorce him.

Whatever you do, please don't go back to him. He will hurt you again and what if he hurts the new baby as well? You have to be really strong for the baby. I am sure that you will think about this situation logically and find a way to get rid of him. All the best.

I have been married to a sociopath for 18 yrs. He is also muslim and Aust-born Lebanese, which makes our union, and this illness even more complicated with cultural differences. I am Aust-born Italian Christian. Initially, he exhibited all that charm and personality. Then begged me to have children. He is very controlling and manipulative, and "rat-cunning", devious, almost evil type behaviour to either out-smarten or rip people off. He is a con man with a lovely out-going personality, and actually loves his extended family, I think.. He craves having people around him ALL the time, but does not trust anybody, and will rip the carpet out from under them without a second glance! I would find bags of drugs in MY undies drawer! He had a pot plantation in the backyard, among the veggie patch. He was a dealer only, as well as his day job, as well as running an illegal betting thingy at work! There was always wads of american dollars hidden around the house. One day I gave a bag of pot to the neighbour girl to share with her "Muso" flatmates nextdoor, because I was sick of the guilty/sick feeling of seeing them in my drawers. I also fed most of the pot to the chooks in the backyard. When he discovered 1 kg bag of pot missing, I told him I had begged and pleaded with him for weeks to get tham out of the house. He kicked the children and I out instead... For years I was aware of such nasty, evil and manipulative behavioural patterns, mostly directed at his sibblings and cousins. I HAD to turn-a-blind-eye to cope with it! Acquaintences or family would question me about my husband, and I would either play dum, or attempt to make it sound funny... However, the "fun" started after the two children were born..but much too scary and overwhelming to detail at the moment. I am through with suffering at the hands of this man. I left him with my two children for just over a yr, and eventually found a lovely gentleman who was also great with my children. However, my then "ex" caused us all SO much grief in threats and violence, using the children of course, that we moved 2 hrs away from him by car. Then I paid heavily with being repeatedly abused and victomised by phone, re custody of our children, and through other family members who are ignorant of his condition. Any prospective partner I ever meet has been threatened, hurt, or lied to by him. My then"ex" sociopath husband told one man by text that I had some disease! Through all this I STILL maintained that the children remain in contact with their father, despite the hatred he had for me..My children 9 & 10 yrs love their daddy, and I do not want to destroy this for them. They will discover on their own when they are older, and more mature to understand. I do tell them both though, that daddy has trouble controlling his anger, and has the outbursts, and verbally abuses them, and they need to come to me and talk about it. I have tried SO HARD for years to encourage our children that daddy wont change, and that his behaviour is not normal at times, and not to take it personally. <br />
Your comments ARE correct, this poor man does not love me in the "normal" sense. Although he says he loves me because I am the mother of his children. I am convenient for him, but also make him appear in the social norm better with an educated wife and children in front of his rather large lebanese family. Sadly, I have finally realised that this man will ALWAYS have the upper hand, and use our children to bully and manipulate me. I would kill myself today if I could, from all the post-traumatic stress, but I cannot leave my children to grow up alone with this man, thinking that his behaviour is normal. They need a balanced life. I finally realise the grave situation I am in. I cannot keep trying to run away from this man because he will not allow me to see my son, and from experience, it is far too dangerous to go through the court system. This man has been ripping off the social security system for years, and still is. I was co-erced into signing our family home over to him, as he said he would finally leave the children and I alone. Instead he took off with our son! I am in North Italy now, single with our 10yr old daughter trying escape from the father of our children. We are also citizens here, however my “recognition” of Uni and work in Australia has proved SO costly, and time-consuming that my daughter and I are now left with nothing. We have no electricity, no heating, and cannot go anywhere. I am now near starving to death with one bowl of rice a day, and attempting to return to Sydney asap so that I can work my normal career that I enjoy so much. My daughter luckily gets one meal a day at the local school here. I SO miss my 9 yr old son in Australia, who had to remain with his father. (another long and complicated story..) <br />
Now, the catch is, guess who is there to "Save the Day", and happily pay for our trip home? At what cost though? And WHERE is Home now for us? Our children and I have been through womens' refuges, and moved to SO many places to escape this man! I even begged the authorities 5 yrs ago, if my children and I could stay in a refuge close to where I worked at the local hospital, so that I didn’t have to kiss my career/job away again. To which they abliged. <br />
NOW, I play HIS game too!! I will now manipulate, beg, borrow etc to acheive what my children and I need for once! But he is SO SO clever, and I am not ruthless, or manipulative like him. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE ME A HEAD-START? Support? Advise? I am not trying to make our relationship all rosy again, I am through with running!<br />
Find his weakness? It is women!. He is sexually promiscuious AS WELL. He says that I am his wife though, whom he loves and adores and had his children, and the other women mean nothing to him, just release he says...(is this a cultural thing, or the sociopath part of him?)

ugh, makes me sick! My husband cheated on me too and said almost the same thing. That he did it for a body to "release" in cause he wasn't happy with my body cause I was chubby. I honestly believe their were more women than just one but I've never been able to prove it.
I started a website for the book I'm writing about this crazy life we live sociopaths and I hope you'll come check it out, post your story in my forum at www.lifewithasociopath.net, I'm also dedicating the last chapter of my book to short stories from people around the world affected by sociopaths and psychopaths and needs some submissions. I see this was in originally posted in 2011, I hope you've moved on from him by now.

What you all need to realize is that we socios really dont care about you. You are good for as long as your entertaining but all things have an expiration date. Especially relationships. If you hate him so much why not leave to start with? Answer: you are addicted to us because we hold all the power, a magnet to anyone. You didnt want out so you didnt leave. To him you are now scraps, but worth taking leverage along from. AKA he wants the kids for leverage over you and future relationships. Thats how it works.

That is really creepy! Feel free to post that in my forum I just started at lifewithasociopath.net

Thank you for all of your posts. I am also married to a sociopath and facing divorce. Amoot, you have described my fears in having a family with my husband as I have seen my mother get hooked deeper and deeper in an unhealthy relationship to a manipulator b/c of their children. Every time I felt the fear, I thought I was projecting her reality into my situation. All my friends said to have kids. We even tried for a couple of months. I am so thankful that God did not give me a child with this man.

be prepared : if there is anything in your past that will not look good in court fix it because I just went thru the same thing and believe he will make it a point to find anything that makes you look bad. dont get emotional, he will twist things aroun, deny saying things. Its really tough but worth it...good luck!

Hi nplnsolo. :) Getting these women pregnant is a further hook for the abusive man and gives him greater chance of control. If she has kids with him, the ties to him are stronger. So they usually give them some cockamie story about how they want to have kids, it will be great, I love you, blah blah, or some of them just rape. So yes, it will be very very common for these women to be pregnant. It is the lucky ones who get away not being pregnant. The more milestones they reach with the woman, like the woman moving in with them, marrying them, having their kids, the more leverage they have for manipulation.<br />
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Dakovic, that is wonderful advice you gave kikkiyta. You have to get away and do NC for at least 2 months if you can manage it, then the fog will clear. Men like that are good at shaking up your mental and emotional compass. <br />
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I am so sorry you have to go through this, and it will take a while, - probably a long time but you have to see that they are not normal people. He will eat you alive and suck you dry. From what I've read it's already happening.

I find it absolutely amazing that so many women who are posting on the EP site, who have claimed that they are with absolutely worthless, alcoholic or abusive men, and I believe that they are, state that they are pregnant! What in the hell is wrong with all of you, if I may be so gentle as to ask? I am sure if I look at the topics below: "I Was Abused By My Ex-Husband"; "I Am A Victim of Domestic Violence", etc., I will see the same phenomenon; my bf, ex-hubby, etc., whooped my a- - for the 20th time and now I am leaving him... oh, yeah, and I am 5 months pregnant...

Hello,<br />
He's playing a game on you. I can tell you this with the utmost certainty because I am a female sociopath. I don't play the same games he does nor do I have such anger/impulse control but I have seen this game played out many times. However be for warned, he is playing you and will drain you dry. Get as far as you can from him. He's using a rather unoriginal ploy, the children. The children are his tension wrench to get you back into his clutches. If you do not drop him completely he will haunt you for a very, very long time. <br />
Dak

Remain calm, think about every situation he could get you into, especially the worst. Think of anything he could pull and start working on how you will handle it in court and in real life. Rehearse it, start thinking about everything that you do and say and how it could be twisted to look. Have beleivable reasons ready, if your real reasons sound unbelelievable, say things that sound more beleivable. His weapon is sounding believable and twisting circumstantial evidence so learn to do the same. <br />
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The movie 'Enough' is pretty good.

I'm so sorry for what you have been through and wish you the best on what is yet to come. I was married to a man like this, he manipulated and controlled therapy sessions....sickening. In court, if he lies, say so. Talk to your attorney about your fears. I hope for the best of outcomes for you!