My Father Was An *******...

by my father.  I knew that he had abused me mentally/emotionally since I was probably 8 or 9.  He would call me to him no matter what I was doing and fuss and criticize and tell me I was fat, etc.  Of course he was drunk when it started and continued until I moved out at 18 to get away from him. It was such a terrible time, I never learned to stand up for myself or I should how to do it.  I still work on it to this day, I also have to work on how to get along with other people, especially women.  I think they don't know how to take me or don't like how I am coz I don't act like or talk like a woman "should"?  I'm sarcastic and talk about myself too much or so I'm told...  and I can tell you it does not make life easy...

I am 46 and still learning how to be acceptable, how to be a friend, how to be a person but apparently I've done well as a mother to 3 sons and I do okay with my boyfriends.  I have learned how to be better in a relationship, I think.

Nesryn Nesryn
46-50, F
5 Responses Sep 30, 2008

My father was an arsehole too, so was my mother, and now my brother. Rather, he always was, and I'm just finding out how much. Needless to say, they've ruined my life.

You sound very much like a woman... I don't know what's up with other women.

I am sorry you went through what you have. You are a strong person. I am also a survivor. Check out some of my stories. Take care

Thank you so much! I sometimes don't feel like I've succeeded in much of anything except raising my boys.

For you to have gone through all that am so so sorry, alot of years has been stolen from you, but you got out of it and has 3 children, well done!! :) The scars will remain for a long time. Perhaps concentrate on the now and the future. As for the past, put it all in a balloon, let it float away. As for you being different, we all are in our own way because we all have something to tell. But for you, hats off to you, you got out and survived to let it out and talk about it.