May I Help You, Miss?

I was about 12 in the early 70's  and was greeted by a clerk in a drug store."May I help you, miss?" she asked. I said bluntly, 'I am not a 'miss' " feeling insulted.  I never grew a heavy beard  and it wasn't for another 20 years, until I grew my hair out that I was mistaken for a girl again. Like many men, I got my ears pierced and was with my girlfriend when we ran into a co worker of hers. He asked ' Is this your girlfriend?"   Wow, I had had no idea how unmanly I could look.  (I was used to looking younger than my years.) I felt awkward for my girlfriend. Within a year I would have several clerks ask "may I help you, Ma'am?" Once, in a department store I simply asked "where's your restroom please?" The clerk said "the ladies' room is right through there, Ma'am."  As I walked through the door to a shoe store at the same time as two other ladies, the clerk offered, "welcome, ladies!"  Another time, while I was shopping for jeans, a little girl, who was with her mom, came over to me, looked up and asked "are you a lady?"  I was never, at any of these times, wearing makeup or distinctly women's clothes. I was not wearing a sport coat and necktie either. I guess I can be androgynous.
 I was torn, because, a: I am heterosexual, b: I don't want to embarrass my wife, and c: I liked it!  
I stopped wearing earrings and cut my hair. I am always clean shaven, but no one ever mistakes me for a female anymore. I miss it. What scared me as a youth, I long for now. I miss being called "Ma'am", and have wondered whether I could pass as a woman if I really tried.  Maybe someday.
wastom wastom 51-55, M 3 Responses Dec 8, 2011

Your Response


you at least didn't get asked out to a date

Wow, that would be a strange experience.

it happens to me once in awhile, i just say sorry but i'm not your type

I'd probably play it as long as I could, trying to understand his real intent and perspective.

i used to do that pretty well till i got labeled as gay for that

I'm in my 50's, married and pretty much beyond worrying about labels. I only care that my wife is comfortable. My favorite thing of all would be to be called "Ladies" when with her. It would be a kick to have two men flirt with us.

i don't care about labels either but word spreads in high school like wildfire

Yes, sure does. I'm safer. Knowing what I know now ( I have a great wife) if I could go back in time, I'd let my hair grow earlier and explore things a lot more. I'd search for girls that like more feminine men (there are some) and search for a woman who wants and acknowledges that she is dominant and the leader.

that's awesome, bro. i'm graduating in a couple years due to some screwed up grades and some fights due to homophobes

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Go for it. You could have a 'girls' day with your wife of shopping, a nice ladies lunch, going out for a drink. I

Would love it....she doesn't care for my femininity so much...

I'm sure you could<br />
Hugs<br />