Does It Really Matter?

As a child I was embarrassed when somebody mistook me for a girl. As I got older I came to understand that I had been embarrassed about it because other people had expected me to be embarrassed about it.  If we truly feel that men and women are equal then why would we assume that one looking like the other would make that someone inferior? People have generally assumed that because I looked feminine then it logically followed that I was gay. I am not gay, but if I were, that is not something I would be ashamed of. Just as I would have no reason to be ashamed of being a woman, if I were, however my “Y” chromosome says I am not.

Growing up, I did not dress or act feminine but I was still frequently mistaken for a girl. Society has assigned certain physical features as being traditionally masculine or feminine. As it happens I was born with facial features that society has traditionally labeled feminine. Short of disfiguring myself, there was not much I could do about full lips, thin eye brows, long lashes or a narrow jaw line. My hair has always been on the long side because it is so thick that when I cut it short it poofs out in all directions. I got tired of being called “Danny Dandelion” so I wore it long enough to lay flat. I have a fast metabolism that won’t seem to let me gain any weight or muscle. It’s not my fault that I am too scrawny. For a boy, being too skinny and weak is worse than being over weight.    I learned at a young age that if somebody had to ask me if I was a boy or a girl, I could, either tell them that I was a boy and then get teased or beaten up for looking like a girl, or I could just let them think I was a girl and avoid the hassle. I have been hurt, humiliated, stalked and terrorized because I looked like a girl but I have also escaped being hurt by letting them think I was really a woman. At the time I blamed myself for bringing attention to myself by looking feminine and by being too weak to defend myself. I have since learned that the ignorance and violent tendencies of others are not my fault.      I feel that, in a modern civilization, all men should not have to conform to the macho archetype in order to contribute to society. I contribute with my mind, heart and spirit. If you need brawn then you need someone else . . . or a power tool of some kind.
Daniel1701 Daniel1701
26-30, M
8 Responses Mar 10, 2009

When I was between 12 and 15 I was constantly asked or over heard, are you a girl or a guy? it use to hurt because it was more of a tease then a general question. Today I am a gorgeous man, no mistakes about it today. People second and third look me daily because Im gorgeous.

I respect you,if all will be like you,then,this world indeed will be better...

You must be beautiful then. :)

long hair can do that especially if someone sees you first from the back. You really have a beautiful face and you're hair is thick really healthy just makes me think of a divine being with perfect features. <br />
ehh anyway thats just my take- I love to admire the beauty of all things. Ur not bi/gay or possibly an undiscovered bi LOL? YEAH RIGHT like i have any chance with some random guy over the internet probably 10000 miles away.

I've been fairly regularly mistaken for a girl most of my life. I had it the other day actually.<br />
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Makes me feel quite good nowadays, as I'm a girl on the inside.

mm. part of this life is we grow and stuf,m and learn things, and learn that sum stuf wasnt our "fault".<br />
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but to also move forward and also leave certain pasts behind.<br />
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im alwayz interested in human behaviour, so i tend to find all these things including my own cool stuf and nonsense interesting *LOL* .. im presently reading a book called "im ok, you're ok", its actually frum tha 80s .. i think ! :D wow hey :D<br />
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theres a lot of goodo perspectives and concepts in there, for anyone to read and have new perspective to self and others behaviours and such.<br />
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as with dealing with other peoples behaviours, and or taking on the responsibility of their actions/reactions, i think theres a bit in there of suggestion too :D<br />
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i dont think i can get mistaken as a girl anymore, iv gotten older, have no hair, and kickboxingy stufs made my broad shoulders show even more. tsk. lol. earlier i just commented on how i would not look pretty in a black corset, possibly anymore, as iv never relly tried one on *LOL*<br />
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with time, i guess we learn whats relly our responsibility and even important enough to fret about or not, and how much to fret about XD hehehe :D<br />
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please be free of other peoples POVs .. atleast sumtimes, especially if its actually nonsense :P . sumtimes therel b peeps hav hav sumthing real to say, but most of the time, its a form of human entertainment .. like small talk, and comments and advice . etc . even my advice shud b listed under "dont take so seriously", coz ur life is about u and tha peeps u interact with and such.<br />
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wow . i duno if im even blabbing about the same subject or not LOL . anayz. wil chat yeah ? :D :) take care and keep well :D :)

I was mistaken for a boy once. I had really short hair that my best friend had cut. Actually I was about four years old, but I remember being a bit stung by this girl thinking I was a boy. It hasn't happened again, and I haven't really thought about it, but I was just dropping a comment to say I like how you questioned why we're embarassed about it, and then I had to ramble on a little.

i constantly get mistaken for a guy because i dressed in baggy clothing and short hair but even when i wear cothing that shows i have a chest i still get mistaken for a guy <br />
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i will say the wrost i got was a little teasing not the torment you got <br />
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just be you the rest will take care of itself