Yes I've Been Raped and Molested...

Well writing this and sharing it umm.... is a little hard. But If I can say something that help anyone else then it worth it. And I just want to say that I didn't go through this on my own. The Lord was with me every step of the way. I know its hard for ppl to understand why a child would have to deal with something like this. But I remember reading in the bible " And the child will lead us" So now that I'm growing and understanding more, I can help more. The Lord doesn't put more on us then we can handle, and he knew that I would be able to handle this. He knew that I was strong enough, and I'm blessed to have gone through this. Because now I have my chance to help many other ppl. So now I'm 21 years old. Working on finally putting my life together. Its taken years I'm sure it be some time until I'm fully together. But with the Lords help its getting much better.

At the age of 7 my grandfather molested me. He made me perform sexually acts to him && he did the same to me. Even though I was 7 I still think its my fault. But if you were to ask me if this happen to another 7 year old, I would tell you that it's not him/her fault. I guess that's just something that goes along with being molested/raped. When I was a little older 13 I was raped, by some guy. He was a known *********. I was really scared to tell anyone because of the issue with my grandfather. People didn't believe me, they said I was lying. Teachers, some family members, folks I didn't even know said that. I was yelled at, questioned over && over. && I knew that if I told anyone about this RAPE I would have to deal with the same thing. So I didn't, but yea people did find out, && yes the same thing happen to me. Until people started finding out who he was, then it was maybe she is not lying. I guess for other its easier to tell the person you love they are lying then to believe that something BAD happen to the person you love.

In my preteen years after dealing with being Molested && Raped. I just couldn't cope, didn't do well in school. I acted up, lied, mistreated people && anything else. I didn't want to live, I attempted suicide twice. && as you can see that didn't work out for me, because God has a plan for me && I intend on doing that. I went to consulting.... I cant tell you how many counselors from the age of 7 until I was 19. Doing that really didn't help me at all. I know that for some people it does, but not for me. So I had to do thing my way. Talking to friends, reading about it, Understanding what you go through, talking with other. && talking to God && myself. Really tryin to work things out. I was doing better even thought I was taking "Baby steps" any steps toward making a change is GREAT.

Then at the age of 19 I believe. I was raped by a "Friend of a Friend" The guy was drunk && he didn't seem to care that I was telling him no. things got outta hand so fast I didn't even know what was happen. Before when I was 13 I told him "NO" but he didn't listen && did what he did to me. When I was 7 my grandfather threaten to kill me && my grandma if I told anyone. So by this time with all the neg. affects I didn't say "NO" right away. That was just my way of dealing with it. "If I want it then its not RAPE, even though I know I don't" But I was able to say NO... I yelled it, I hit him, I tried to leave && he wouldn't stop. His words to me was "Just let me get my NUT off" I don't think I will ever forget these words he said to me.

Everyone always says if they was in that situation, they would scream, yell, fight, do anything to get out of the situation. But you just don't know unless your in it. I knew that if I did everything I could && couldn't get away that I would want to kill myself, that I would feel like - My life is NOT worth living, so that I wouldn't have to play that situation over && over in my head. But I knew that I had to try I was sick of letting guy HURT me, even if I failed I TRIED. && to this day not many people know about it. My brother cause he went with me to the hospital, && a couple others. My family doesn't even know. I just said if less people know then I can forget faster. But its not tru... You don't forget- you can only OVER COME. You have to say,  I WILL NOT LET YOU CONTROL my life. I will SURVIVE.
This is my way of dealing && working things out.... Its OK if you've been RAPED && your scared. Your not the only one, if you ask all your friends if they have been raped you'd be surprised how many people would say yes. The one thing that helps is being able to talk to someone who understands you. Someone who has been through it. Just talking can take you a long ways. So if you need someone to talk to I'm here. && there are plenty of numbers && websites for you or a friend. && DON'T FORGET YOUR NUMBER 1... JESUS CHRIST....HE CAN HELP YOU THROUGH IT ALL.

Thanks && have a BLESSED day... Because GOD does LOVE us all, EACH and EVERYONE of us.

*update 6-25-11* I'm very very happy to see how many people have read my story, the comments and inbox messages... I'm glad that I can be a blessing to anyone out there I'm still being blessed and lead by the Lord... :-D 25 Years old I've changed a lot about me && my ways all for the better :-)

*UPDATE 8/26/13* I am 28 years old, && still living my LIFE for the Lord. It has been amazing looking back on my life. All the trails that I HAVE been through. But I truly believe each and everyone has made me who I am today, each and everyone has allowed me to have a love for the LORD I would have never known. I know everyone may not have the same beliefs as me.... BUT just try, I would be glad to be  a guiding light... Almost 20.000 VIEWS here and 9,000 in the other GROUP this is a BLESSING... God Does LOVE you, He does, and He understands your pain... Just bring it all to Him and leave it at His feet.. - God Bless <3 If you would like my PERSONAL Email, just ask ;-)
MysticBeauty MysticBeauty
31-35, F
22 Responses Jul 24, 2008

This story keeps giving back, and I am sooo BLESSED and PLEASED to know it has been taken in such a positive light. After all these years. I am still BLESSED, still praising the Lord. He has truly brought me through the "bad" times. I Love Him the BEST I know how No matter WHAT.

im am so happy to hear how the Lord has helped you through it all your story though tragic like many cases but at least you have the Lord on your side

hope you're doin well now

I am... Thank you :-)

im so sorry for what has happen to you ...

wish u the best its sooo inspiring

im glad u tried to speak even though people did not listen. continue loving and serving god also continue believing in yourself.

im so glad you tried to tell someone even though they did not listen and continue loving and serving god also believe in yourself

I went through the same thing at age 7, I was told if I told anyone he. Would come back for me rape me again and then kill my family and i . He would often threten me saying if you try to run I will come get you tie you down and rape you until I can't hurt you anymore and then some. I'm only 13 now but I'm scared because I've told people that now he is going to come and hunt me down and hurt me. He would use tricks to get me away from other people so he could rape me. This was my foster dad who did this to me twice and has always told me if I told he would hurt me until my death. I currently have a boyfriend. But I find it hard to believe this actually happened to me. I often have nightmares about him comi g back to haunt me. It has affected me so much to the point where I barely passed school and I would get into trouble. I would often delay doi g my homework until the last minute and would just sit and be sad or cry until I couldn't cry anymore. I want someone with this same type of situtionwhom I could talk to about it. From, Sara

Are you still online Sara?

you inspire me, i had gone through the same thing, i was molested by a cousin in my own room when i was 10 and like you said , i couldnt scream, or move , i was simply in shock. i didnt understand what was going on but i knew it wasnt right! later i dragged my elder sister out of the house to tell her what had happened, but she didnt believe me. i dont blame her , she was only thirteen. until this day, i cant stand to see that cousin of mine, i wanna kill him everytime i see him, but then i would be no less than him. i was never ready to tell my parents about this, so i told my grandmom and then my mom found out and she took no action. even today she welcomes him into our home. maybe she takes precautions in her own way but i cant stand to see her treat him like her own son. it makes me angry, so angry that i cant respect her or my sister anymore. i doubt whether my father knows, because if he did know, he would kill him with his bare hands - maybe thats why my mom hasnt told him yet and i suppose she never will. that incident has literally ruined my life forever, everytime i think about it , i feel sick, used and dirty.... so dirty that i could just cut myself up.<br />
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i know some girls have been through worse, like you and im truly inspired by how you have moved on. i too will follow christ and he will indeed help me out of this situation. thanks

well. to tell you the truth. the fact tht keep haunting me is, no man will want me coz im not a virgin. is tht true? no one will want you if you been raped? . i tried to forget this thing for years. being in a convent school(13-15) helps me bout tht. but when im 16, i got a scholarship to this high performance boarding school . itz a co-ed school. some fall for me, but reject them coz i know it jz aint rite for them. they should get a better girl. with the virgin one. u know, break someone hearts makes me feel like a sinner.. i never think a boy will love me. i jz thought they jz wanna playin around. but this one guy, aftr 2 year, he just wont move on... im so sick now.. what im afraid of is, i would fall for him...<br />
the fact tht he will only walk away of he knows the truth is so ******* sick. i cant stand anymore...

GOD does love u so very much!

GOD will make things better for everyone and will punsh the ones who have done worng.

my name is isael i a boy ,my father raped me a day before my birthday ,it wass january 13 2011. i try to kill my self because no one belive me and i think i going to try kill my sell againg .....

sorry I did not mean to hit the like buttom. Yoou are not at fault I felt that way for years. It is drilled into you to make you feel that way. that way they can do it over and again.

H- This is really hard to share. I went threw the same thing. I was about ten. I was molested by my dads roommate. Its was the most terrifiing night of my life. The only words i remmber from that night was «What the **** are you doing with my daughter!» All my friends think that would be so hard and it is but they just dont get it. I still remeber and cry about it sometimes and its only been almost two years. I dont even think the cops took him because what he did but because was so drunk.

Thankyou for sharing your story... I wish i had the courage as you by saying everything that happened to me. but just hearing what you had to say just made me think that im going to be alright in the long term of things so just thankyou.

Your right at the end... GOD will decide what has to happen... and it will be ten times better then what you could ever do... all you need to do to be a great husband is be there for her... thats the most rewarding thing you could do... because you bring harm to him... will bring harm to her... and Im sure you dont want that... <br />
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as hard as it may seem, forgiving is best, you never let someone control your feeling or have the power to drain your energy...

my girlfriend was rape by her uncle when she was 3,4 and 5 almost everyday then she moved and got beaten up and rape even tho her uncle is sorry i will never forgive him and the guy who hit her and rape her is dead so i can't kill them myself i will not kill her uncle cause she made me promise but if she hasnt he will be dead i just think God shouldnt forgive those people<br />
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you're story help me in they way that i can force to talk about it but she is openign up to me little by little letting me know what happens since we set a date for our wedding anyway she is gonna be mad cause i can let go what her uncle did to her un-punished i aitn gonna kill him jsut beat him up and that GOD decide his fate

Thank you very much... :)

As tough as it is, you give us all hope. To have the strength is truly amazing and shows us the abilty human beings have to improve despite what has happened.

NickyICU please add my other page... I dont use this one... the name is MysticBeauty... Go under search then type in my name... We can talk... I've been there... I hope to hear from you

I cried so much reading your story, It rally hit home, I to believe in god, but I don't speek to him much recently.. I think about my molestation case all the time.. and it hurts so bad. I cry all the time.. and in effort to make things work with a guy I confide in him about it, only to realize he didn't give two fuckz bout me and that made the pain so much deeper.. IDK what to do,, and I kno I can't tell the family.. but its a pain I can't get off my chest.. and no one understands...

Thank you for sharing your story. I know it can be hard to open up. I am still trying to deal with my past. But I have been going to church now for the past 2 years and that has helped me. No one can truly understand unless they have gone through it. God bless you!