LIFE Is What For a Girl

I am not understanding this that how i start it but i really want to share my experience with people of the world.I am a 19 year old girl.When i live with my parents in village i was 6-7 year old. There was my cousin lives near our house trying to  molest me. He trying to kiss me and touch me i was so young i dont understand that but as i grow older i came to know what he was doing wrong to me, idont tell this to my parents as i was young.Now after 3 years we move to a metro city to live there.Now i was about 10 year old i was a shy girl since childhood.One day one uncle came to live in the house of my neighbour's friend. That uncle used to see me everyday whenever i used to play with my friends that uncle used to pass smile towards me. And one day when i was playing with my friend in a park he also came with us it was 7pm in the evening, we were playing hide and seek i was hiding in the parks behind the plants and he  also came there and said me to sit in his lap.I was young and dont understand him and go to sit in his lap then he says these words its only 2 minutesto take all this just sit in my lap and started to tuch me all my body, i shouted mummy -mummy and  then one of my friend came and he left me then.I again dont tell anything to parents i just cry myself.It was what i dont understand but now i understand every thing.After some years when i became a teenager i was 16 i used to go tution for physics at my school teacher's house . There was a boy with his friend also came for tution. We used to talk like friends but i was unaware of this fact that he was not a good boy. And he want to do wrong things with me.We were good friends . One day he ask me for go to see a movie in the theatre i said ok. He was my friend i used to trust him.SO he came to pick me in the morning near my house but not alone he was with his friend. I asked him why you bring him he said he also want came with us. I said nothing,then i sit wih him on his bike.Then instead of taking me to theatre he took me to his friend's house and molested me with his friend i was shocked. I cry in front of them that leave me . But they dont listen to me and molested meI know how i escape from there. So then i go to my home alone and just cry and cry for months. Now as it is 3 years from that day i am 19 and remember that day for every single day. I dont tell this to family again due to panic beacause i was afraid.After what happened to me i remember even the date and day of that incident.I used to cry every single day after that.Whenever i listen to some said music i used to crey and cant stop my tears.It is really hard.But i think God has made me strong from inside so that i can overcome this problem.I cant say what i feel .But i really want to say that the life for girls is really really tough so girls should be aware of people becoz u cant trust anyone exept yourself.And if something you find wrong around you i mean wrong person you should be aware of that and tell the you trust so that you can protect yourself from that person and what happened to me will not be happened to innocent girls. 

Shamma Shamma
3 Responses Feb 11, 2009

Life is hard in a girls world we go through such horrific times in our lifes which sometimes makes us stronger and you are strong! men also have it hard though even though you might not think it happens as much but it does. Life is hard and it seems like you have had it tough and im happy you have turned to god and he has helped you i cant manage to go down that road yet but im getting help and soon enough i will get there!

It must be very hard to feel guilty of something that is so horrible... and there is this feeling that people or friends might shy away when they know about it... but sometimes unexpected things happen to some people which is very unacceptable and painful inside... a lot of similar cases happened but keep it to preserve family honor...<br />
Think of it as a bad dream that you do no not want to remember and be lucky you got out... Keep yourself busy with hobbies that would challenge your way of thinking .. maybe collection of clippings from magazines,, art.... experiment on cooking food , , something that has less fats,, more vegetarian kind of food... research on beautiful and inspiring stories about life, about people and you will find out how beautiful life is no matter how great the trials you need to undergo,, It will keep you strong inside ...after all ,, you are not the only ones who have experienced that kind of trials in life... have more faith in yourself and your abilities to move forward ...

Life has been tough for you, I'm sorry you experienced that abuse, I know how terribly it impacts on your life. If you can find some support, through a group or therapist or whatever works for you, I'm sure it will help you to stay strong and not let the people who abused you ruin your life. You deserve to be healthy, happy and loved. Take Care.