Being Abused And Molested

When i was born my mother told me my father never wanted me...i never met him and dont know his name. She married when i was small, my stepfather was always abusive when i was little but only to me, never to the kids him and my mom had together. He would call me names and throw things at me from the ages of 2 or 3 til the age of 7 when my mother left him. The day she left i remember kicking a ball and he said "go to your room with the ******* ball, so i kicked it towards my room.... he grabbed mr by my leg and threw me against the wall and punched me on my back....a couple years later mom remarried....i never liked him....i started puberty when i was 9...he started making remarks when i was 11...i remember him making me sit on the couch with him while hed hold me down and finger me and rub himself...it happened everywhere we went, he always made me go with him..i tried telling my mom a few times but all she wanted to do was have a family descussion...i started drugs and cutting myself to deal with everything at 13....i was labled a problem child....my stepdad would stand at my door (i wasnt allowed to have one) and watch me sleep at night while he jerked off...this happened nightly....he would make me watch him play with himself daily and dared me to open my mouth to anyone....(he knew alot of the right people) cps came to my house i finally got the courage to say something at 17....of course he knew them...all they did was talk about old times.....they left laughing....i finally left home at 19 with a guy i barley knew just to get away from everything.....lets just say he wasnt any better, liked to slap me daily, told me it would "toughen me up" i left him and got married, the first few years was really great...then.he made me have sex with his friends and now tells me how screwed in the head i am because of my childhood.....i wish i never told him about anything.....so as of now im stuck in a loveless marriage and nighly nighmares of my life, but i still try to have a positive outlook on life and pray nightly for God to help me thru and be happy.....
Bella27 Bella27
26-30, F
Jul 14, 2010