I Remember Some

Being so young I remember little parts.
And some days, when I sleep I dream of it all.
I remember the pain
I remember his harsh laugh.
I remember changing.
I couldn't believe it was in a church, I was only 5 and he hurt me.
Why would my dad let him take care of me?
Wouldn't a daddy know, wouldn't he care about me?
Because he didn't care, my virginity was taken,
For the longest time I believed it was my fault.
Daddy always said, "you're just too pretty."

When I was 6 my step brother beau tried to stick his penis in my anus.
My dad walked in right when it was about to happen.
I just listened to what he said,
"c'mon vannah, it won't hurt, you'll like it"
It makes me sick thinking of it now.
I almost thought it made me hate him,
But what did I know, I was just a little kid.

When I was 7, my step brothers molested me.
I remember late at night I was told to get out of bed and come to their room at a certain time,
"don't be too loud, your mom will hear you sneaking to us"
I suppose I just went with it, but how was I supposed to know?
When I went to their room, they said, "take off your clothes"
As I did what I was told, they just stared,
Logan(the oldest) "dance, do something like girls in those **** magazines."
Quinn(younger) "yeah, like girls gone wild"
I did as I was told once again,
they told me to lay to the floor
as i did quinn wasn't hesitant to get on top,
trying to hump.
Logan shoved him off and said, "shhhh"
he started kissing me, everywhere at once,
I closed my eyes, trying to pretend I was someplace else.
he started touching me in these places...
some tender, some hurt, i went numb after so long...
and then I fell asleep, when I woke up he was sticking his penis in my vagina.
when he realized I was awake, he said,"suck on it"
I choked, it tasted awful.
I almost puked.
When he was done, I got my clothes on and went to my room, when I got there
I closed the door and cried until I passed out.

KISSndKILL KISSndKILL
18-21, F
2 Responses May 24, 2012

Hey, I thought I was the only one being molested and raped in this world, until I saw it on websites like these. I have the same opinion.. I can't tell anyone that my own grandfather sexually touched me.. But on here I can. God Bless :')

I am very sorry that this happened to you. Did you ever tell anyone? When I finally did it was a big relief. Thanks for sharing!

i never tell and won't. it's better left behind