Strong Fighter

It all started when i was seven years old. Two days before my birthday, when the molesting started to take place. The bad thing about it, was that it was my own flesh and blood that had done this horrible crime (my dad). I dont know why i had to be the victom of this but i do know that it has made me strong. Alot of times people ask the question (why)! well you know what , for those of you that have survived this traggic, you are considered a gift from God. I began to realize that people have actually died from this. But we survived! I cant believe that a person that you thought would love you could do this to you. Well to be honest, everyone has to go through something, as for me this is what i had to go through for 11 years. I was afraid so i didnt do anything. Was i in the wrong for being afraid? NO!! And neither were any of you that had done the same thing. What allowed me to go ahead with my life was the threat that i had recieved from my dad. That was the last straw for me. I prayed and prayed for years for God to take me out of that place so i can live a happier life. Now i am married and have a beautiful daughter that loves me. Thanks be to God. He allowed me when i was 18 to move out of my parents house. I was still depressed at the time. I really didnt know what to do or how to live, so i took it upon myself to hangout with the wrong crowd and do things that i already knew was wrong. Was it right? NO. At the time i really didn't care. Even though God saved me from the suffering that i had gone through, i still felt lost and empty. I now am 22 years old and i still think about the things that had happened to me but i really try not to let it get to me anymore. I forgave him for what he had done  to me.  I have not seeked help for this and really would like to know how i can actually get over what has happened to me. I am married and happy, but apart of me still feels lost. And i dont want this to affect my relationship any longer. I also realized that my family under went the same thing when they were young. Its not a relief, it actually is depressing and i really dont want to be depressed any longer. I can and will admit that i need help. But how ?

mtrigga mtrigga
22-25
3 Responses Jul 12, 2010

Wow my gosh. U re amazing person and also gifted. The ablity that you have to forgive all the things have done by someone is just gift becauase not all people can forgive as u do. U are blessed and plz keep this positive attitude and you will be succesful man in the future. Bod Bless You

You are already helping yourself by forgiving him. Therefore your heart isnt filled with bitterness and hate. You'll have to say, you know what I can't change the past but I can make for myself a better future. In my case it was my older brother, he denied what he did and my mother took his side. It hurt me but whats working for me is to not hate them but at the same time keep my distance from them like they're strangers.

Your story is uplifing. You are an amazing person. I applaud your ability to forgive. I too am a survivor and it has taken me many years to get to the point where I can somewhat forgive. I still have my days where forgiveness gets lost in the shuffel and my anger interfewrs with forgiveness. But I havce learned to put most of it behing me so I could move on in my life and be functional. I hope that makes sense. Take care.