No Support

As the rest of you, I was molested as a child. I'm 19 now, and yet to be over the ordeal. Here's why.

My grandpa molested me from the ages of... 8 to 15? I feel like an idiot for not telling an adult over the course of seven years. You're basically going to read my life story right here so get comfy. My parents divorced when I was four years old, my older sister was eight. I didn't get to see my dad for a good... three or four years after that, and even then, he'd turned to a life of truck-driving so days spent with him were few and far between. My grandpa filled the void of father for a while. He gained my trust and spoiled me with attention and materialistic items. He took advantage of the trust I shared with him, particularly in my most vulnerable times as a teenage girl. My mom asked me frequently if anybody touched me inappropriately. But I was brainwashed; he always told me, "This is our secret." Scumbag. Word finally got out what he was doing to me when I told my mom I had a crush on a girl. The girl aside, what I found out afterwards was much more shocking. He molested my mom when she was a child. He also attempted to do the same to my two aunts, only succeeding with one. He also attempted to do the same to my sister, whom had a killer backbone at the age of eight and said she'd call the cops. Thus the family skeleton. I live in a city where the Italian community is a strong, close knit network of highly looked upon people. My grandpa is one of those people, even to this day. My dad found out late in the game. But he seemed to be over it in the matter of hours. Plain simple, the whole family knows. My parents, my sister, my grandma, my cousins, my aunts and uncle. And I thought I was over it. I thought, for the sake of the family, I'll just kick it under the rug and pretend it didn't happen. Because it's all about family when you're Italian, like, you get tattoos about family being first. I think my family's priorities are a little f-cked up. I'm not over what my grandpa did and I can't go to therapy about it because (as I've been told) law requires people to report this sort of thing, and I can't just 'let it go' as my dad says. This isn't the sort of thing that you just let go. Anyhow, I recently brought it up to everybody that I wanted to come forth to the police about this, only to find that nobody had my back. Everybody is more worried about ruining my grandma's good name and making the family look bad in the community. To every family member I asked, I received the same response, "It's your choice." Thanks a f-cking lot, family. I'm tired of taking one for the family, but I'll be seen as a selfish brat if I merely look out for myself.

My boyfriend has my back. Something similar happened to a family member of his, so he feels very strongly about the situation and has a few choice words he'd like to say to my family. My friends have my back also, one in particular whose father happens to worship the ground on which my grandpa walks. She tells me, "I just want to punch my dad for making your grandpa out to be some saint."

I've not seen justice done for the cruel torments that I've endured. I'd love to go to the police about this, but I fear that since my entire family knows, the law will bring them down too. I know I curse them for not supporting me, but I couldn't see them suffer at the hands of the court system. I desperately need closure to this matter, and until I see that justice has been served, I don't think that I can truly lead a happy life.

My grandpa has ruined many lives, more than I probably know. His parents died when he was 18, leaving him with two younger sisters (14 and 16 years old) who were probably his first victims. It sickens me to know that because they kept quiet, my mom and aunt suffered. And because my mom and aunt kept quiet, I suffered. My grandpa may be old and will probably die soon, but I'll be damned if I let him take this to the grave.

Thank you for your time.
jmacm23 jmacm23
26-30, F
1 Response Jul 21, 2010

Miss, jmacm, I truely find your story pretty sad and heartbroken, my love goes out to you. What your grandpa did was so wrong, and to take advantage of you in the time where you were the most vulnerable was also uncalled for. I can't believe your whole family know about it and still did'nt do nothing about it because of some damn good name. I was molested as a child and my parents did'nt let that ride, they put the man a^ss in jail. Still i cant get over the fact that it happen to me. Your grandpa is a sick man, forgive me from saying that but it's true. If your family let him get away with that, then he will think he could go do it to another innocent child out there. I hope you, and eveyone else in your family whom he molested get justice, it's never to late to report this In my family, we strongly believe in god, you say he might take it to his grave, put in god's eye's he won't rest in that grave for the fact he did doing his life. Again, i hope you find peace, justice, and the strong will to make your life happy, I hope you find my little story helpful, thanks and good luck.