The Type Of Things You'll Never Forget

Hide and Go Seek in the Dark. With Partners. That was his favorite game. We'd play it every night. At first he'd just touch me. But as I got older he'd make me do other stuff. And take pictures. He never threatened me not tell. I don't know why I didn't. Somedays, when it was just to unbearable Id tell him that my cousin wanted to play with him this time. Other times I'd participate. I was young and stupid. I carry ALOT of guilt and shame. The molestation stopped when I was in about 7th or 8th grade. But it still haunts me. Im 15 now. I have nightmares. Sometimes I wake up feeling like its happening again. I was going to tell my grandpa. I kept telling myself, one day, one day. But then he died when i was in 6th grade. I want to tell my mom. I want everyone to know. Mainly because I don't want him to have kids and do it to them or to anyone else. Also Ive suffered from years even now that its stopped im suffering and i want him to suffer and i need to make peace with myself and with my cousin. But i cant bring myself to tell. im afraid hes going to deny it or say that i wanted it and that theyll believe him over me. Im scared. i wish i could just forget it ever happened. But thats the type of thing you never forget . . .
marymoocow32 marymoocow32
22-25
1 Response May 11, 2012

Awe:( I'm so sorry to hear that right now. But I believe you should let go of the guilt and shame because its not your fault what so ever! & tell your mother or someone close to you...so that your not going throught it alone. They will trust you!