My Sisters Husband

I was molested from the ages 11-13 years old, by my sisters husband. My sister doesn't realize that when I was placed to live with them, she left me alone with him lots. Giving him an open window. I ran away from home because of it. My whole family thought I did this just because I couldn't listen to "rules" or I couldn't "respect" my sister enough to get along with her. (As I argued lots with her, because I was so upset that she couldn't see what was going on.) When I was 14 I tried telling the family, then they said it was all made up, because I was seeking attention due to an absent father. They totally singled me out, just because of my already-ruff up-bringing I had as a child. I felt hopeless and devastated. Someone had actually called the authorities to report what I had said, but the police went to my abuser first, and they never did get around to asking me what really happened. I was let down by everyone I was suppose to trust. 5 years later after it stopped, I enclosed the truth to my sister in a letter by the help of a counsellor. She hates me now. My mom thinks I am a liar. I have a cousin who says that no "professional" counsellor would ever suggest writing a letter over a matter like this. My other sister has only told me that the same thing happened to her too by him. But she wont tell anyone else. She chooses to do cocaine instead. Even in adulthood it still bothers me a lot. My husband says I shouldn't cry over it. I am told to forget about it by other people. And the worse, was when a cousin said to me, that by telling my sister this, I have turned my sisters world upside down. As if it were all my fault. What about me, as the victim? My childhood was ruined because I was forced to grow up. What about my world having been turned upside down for life? I have to deal with this everyday. I am treated as if I asked for this to happen to me, and now that it is over an done with in the past, I should've kept my mouth shut. It has been 7 years for me since the incidents have stopped, but it is still as fresh in my memory like it was just yesterday. Somethings I have blocked out completely but other memories just seem like they will never fade. Even as an adult I still feel like I am that same helpless child locked inside.
jellybeaniee jellybeaniee
18-21, F
4 Responses May 19, 2012

I feel sad , sorry and ashamed

Hi Jellybeaniee,

I am in a scarily similar situation. I googled "I've been molested by my sisters husband" and your story came up. I hope that if I ever get the courage to speak up, I too will feel set free.

Thank-you nceguyfromne. That is true how you said predators are manipulators. It hard for me to know if any of my family members (other than my other sister and grandparents) believe me or not. I get treated horribly by my family and that is the hardest thing to deal with everyday for me, but I am set free now because my abuser doesn't come around me any more. I'm glad that is over with. And since I've told the truth, I no longer feel any guilt. It took me years to realize it was never my fault. Now I can smile and actually be happy. I wish my family members would notice the dramatic change in myself. But they all choose to ignore all the signs.... Perhaps he continues to manipulate them all, idk... but thanks for reading my story and thanks for your kind words!

hugs honey. things are gonna get better for you. hope for the best.