Hi

I am in therapy, I never skip a day,quit drinking for the most part.
Nothings feels better,no matter what I do, I can't feel better. I am obviously weak, and pathetic. I think that's why it happened to me in the first place, because I just put out this vibe, like I'm a natural born victim. I'm trying to just live with that. There are people who live through horrible things, and they mannage to be glad to have lived through it.I had no point to this..sorry
randomkid88 randomkid88
22-25, M
4 Responses Nov 26, 2012

I had the same thing happen to me. You were a child, the adult was the one who took advantage, that doesn't make you weak it makes that person a sick bastar*d. I am glad you are in therapy. It takes a long time to work it all out. I am not grateful for the experience, but I have live with it, because it is my truth.

I'm not in therapy anymore, I haven't been for a long time. I wish I was strong,I wish I knew how to live with it. When I hear about people coming out of abuse and being normal it really inspires me, and I just really look up to people like you

Sorry I didn't mean to rant on like that

No problem. It takes a long time to deal with it all, the strength didn't come overnight.

I hope in a few years I can be the one saying that to someone,and they will have hope for something better. You are a cool lady and I hope you meet lots of nice people I'm really high a dn I'm sorry if this made no sense I'm trying

That is the only good thing I can think of that comes from something like this. You are fine.
If you are 22 you are the same age as my oldest.

I am 25 most days I feel like an idiot 12 year old. I have no ******* clue what I am doing. 90% of the time. I'm sorry I keep bugging you

That is okay.

Ok

5 More Responses

I went through the same. It's not you bud believe me

Randomkid-u r sad and feel pathetic bcoz u blame urself n u think it was us mistake..but it was not ur mistake dear..u r not born to b victim..u r born to live a happy life..n u cn do it just b confident n knw dat u r not responsible for the trauma... if u need any help feel free to call me (khushi - +918927261831)

I went to therapy for a year. It takes a long time to actually find the purpose in therapy. I don't think its supposed to make you "feel" better. I don't. But I know it has made me understand myself and people. Therapy is to help you understand yourself, why you act a certain way or feel a certain way, in that you see why other people behave the way they do. I wouldn't considered therapy as a "cure" for feelings. If it was made in pill from I'd be first in line. Therapy is the only place where you won't feel like a recluse. Its the only place you can confidently say whats on your mind without judgement. Because through therapy you can find your way. That person you talk to only guides you into a place of understanding and reason. I'll tell you this, as a person who was abandoned by a her father, molested by a teacher as a child and lost a baby during pregnancy. I still carry those bad feelings, they are not gone, i still cry about them. The only benefit i found in therapy is how my scarred history made me so shut down. I had no idea that these events still affected me today. I always thought it was the way i was, my personality. I was called anti-social since very young. That was because people scared me; i never felt safe. Only in therapy i made the connection. Now i know why i behaved the way i did and when i see it in other people, I know why they act the way they do. Like how I get you, i been there sitting in the that office waiting for all these feelings go away as i hoped they would in that office and leaving with no change. But the workmanship on my self was the only thing keeping me from drugs and alcohol. I had to prove there was a better way in dealing with these feelings. So good luck to you.