My Life Is Not A Fictional Story, It's Just My Life (part Two)

Since i was raised by the people who abducted me, they were not blood related. This is the only thing that keeps me sane. I lived with them since i was Four, so I was being molested since i was 4. Whenever we went to visit people, my "mother" would drag me into the bathroom and molest me. The cousins, uncles...everyone knew about it. But all they did was make fun of me for it and ask me about it. I said, " it's not like you are going to do anything about it...so why should i tell you?"

After my "father" would rape me, i would be in pain so my "mother" would rub Vaseline on me. Just another way to molest me. Then one day, my "sister" Joannie said, "you are too old for that". So i quit saying anything about the pain. She got the living crap knocked out of her for that and that is when i remember her molesting of me started. The other siblings were just as guilty.

I asked her when i was older and we were yelling at each other. My "mother" said that this was the way she was taught how to be quiet around other relatives. This makes sense since her father molested me once. Funny thing is, my "mother" got all mad about it like she was protecting me. I honestly think she thought she owned me.

Whenever we were around Aunt Elsie is when it was the worst. I realized then that my "mother" was obsessed with her. Later, i found out that Elsie was my real grandmother's sister. Elsie was one of my favorite people and SHE was the reason these horrible people took me. She was the reason why my whole life was ruined.

Later, in life, my "mother" stopped molesting me...but my "father" tried to rape me at 26. I am glad they are dead now and cannot hurt me physically, but i will never be okay emotionally. Their real daughters were allowed to marry and have children who they molested. And their children have children whom i suspect are also molested.I don't speak to any of them any more...and when i did, they just lied about me and were cruel.

I was never able to "carry" full term and my husband won't adopt. No one ever loved me and i think it is because i have "victim" written all over me.
joyba61 joyba61
56-60, F
4 Responses Dec 5, 2012

Oh My God,Joyba, that is horrible and such an unfair thing to happen to such a good person. No little girl should have to go through being raped or molested by their own parents,not even once. I feel really sad for what had happened to you.

Ooooooooh, This has to be the most extreme case of child abuse I've ever read about. My mom warned me about those kind of people. We call them "losers". I wish I saw that so I could report it to the police.

the saddest thing is that their children lied to many others about me and they are still ruining my life

What lies have they told? How are they still ruining your life?

every job, every class, every doctor, ever neghborhood...they show up and lie about me...i don't work any more...i miscarried a bunch of times and i have no friends...they destroyed me because i was beautiful, sweet and quiet and now i have no reason to live. And i did nothing to anyone...ever

thank you...i wish all that were true...

i wanted it very badly. i pretended that those people didn't exist. there were too many of them and every where i worked especially, people would say " we heard about you. no body likes you. you weren't popular in school. we heard you were a real *****. blah, blah, blah..." and then the threats ensue. i ended up waking up in a parking lot. i had strange bruises on my leg. i had to crawl several feet to reach my glasses....and it would have been impossible for me to lie there for half an hour and no employees say they saw me. that was in 2000 in a walmart parking lot in Cortland, ny. i was gang raped by showcase cinemas managers in '88. bosses at penny's just suddenly turned on me after Tc. mc mahon showed up and lied about me. i told them she was mentally ill and i have never even met her before. but there was already jealousy towards me there so this just fueled the flames. i lost 5 children from "accidents" before i got married. i had 4 fiances before my husband and they suddenly turned on me. i should have killed myself along time ago. but now i just hang on waiting for all of them to die.

2 More Responses

thank you itwontleaveme...i am sure that you love your son very much and i am sorry for the pain that you have to deal with now. you might want to go to family therapy when he is old enough so that he can express any uneasy feelings he has about your depression. children take things so personally ...as if they are the reason for divorce or any thing that goes on in a family. i really believe in therapy if it is the right time and the right therapist.

i am sorry about the cervical cancer. but at least you got a beautiful baby boy. i am very happy for you.

i have been writing letters to the people responsible for my pain and collecting the letters for a book i am always planning to write. just writing this crapola down sometimes makes it easier to cope with. at first it is extremely upsetting and you can't believe that you have put up with all this nonsense, but then you realize that you can put up with almost anything.

I am so sorry for your pain. It's a pain that lies deep in our soul, however, it can get easier when the right steps are taken, I kept mine a deep ,dark secret for 35 years. when it came out i became "free" in a sense. i got some therapy. G0d bless and know you are loved

thank you. i had therapy...three psychologists. i didn't feel any better. this site actually makes me feel better.

I am so sad about hearing about your being raped and molested that i feel that life has been really cruel to you and you are way too good and kind a person to have gone through such sadness as a child. I used to think my life was nothing great because i had problems getting dates on account of my thin figure and slight acne problem but compared to all the horrid stuff that happened to you, my life seems like a happy one.

thanks. it 's nice to hear that some people haven't had it so bad