My Drunk Boyfriend

I was about 17 years old at the time and my ex was an alcoholic, only a year older than me. One night when he got off of work (he worked in construction) I met him by my side door which just happened to have the porch light on. Well, that night he was obviously and completely drunk and reeked of beer. He also didn't shower or anything so he stunk like BO really bad. Anyways, he kept asking me to give him a BJ right there and I was like "hell no, you're drunk and you stink and you're totally gross right now" but he didn't take no for an answer so he forced me to give him oral sex right there, under the porchlight in plain view. He grabbed my head (he had sweat pants on) he was already hard, and just immediately like rammed it in my mouth and down my throat and was gagging me and it was so freaking disgusting. I could still remember the terrible smell (almost like a ***** smell, so I wondered if he was messing around with someone else that nite) and the nasty sweaty BO/ crotch smell, I'm surprised I didn't puke. Then he came in my mouth and made me swallow it and it was the most disgusting thing ever, especially since he was literally ramming it down my throat and I had no control. I'm 41 now and I think the smell is what really got to me. When he was done he just acted like nothing happened and I was so pissed off at him. The even worse part of the story was my nosy neighbor (I found out a couple days later) watched the entire thing and I felt so completely violated. Then I wondered if my bf had something to do with it and planned it that way as a weird voyeur thing cause they were friends and my neighbor used to watch me in my windows and I'd catch him spying on me sometimes and would mention what color my panties were, etc. I know for a fact that if anyone makes you do something against your will (even if your dating, married, whatever) it is still considered rape. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I'm just so glad I have God in my life to cope with memories like that; He gave me beauty for ashes, oil of joy, and took my shame away, and made me a completely new person that He created me to be since the beginning :)
Melichka Melichka
41-45
Jan 6, 2013