I Pride On My Experience

When I was 5 or 6, i stayed with my grandparents while my parents were away at work because my parents didn't have enough money to afford a baby-sitter for my sister and I. My grandfather was in his shop one afternoon as i asked to go out and play. I always had a ball or some other toy. That day i kept begging my grandfather to play with me. He said he would but first i had to come here. He sat on a bucket or so in the doorway of his shop. He asked me to set on his lap and he would play with me.  I was so young I dont remember knowing it was wrong. I just knew it hurt and i didnt like it. He told me not to tell. I dont remember the rest of the afternoon. I do remember that i forgot about it. Until one afternoon about dark, while waiting on my parents to pick me up, my grandma had to go to the bathroom. I had this doomed feeling, like OH, NO. She was elderly and always took a while. Of course the inevitable happened. I was told not to tell grandma. It only happened twice. I never said a word to her or anyone else. I was about 12 years old my best-freind, cousin and i were in my room, my friend began telling how she had been molested. I remember feeling so sad for her thinking how sick. My cousin told a story how my cousin jessie had been molested by our grandfather, she told and the family got mad. No one believed her. The most shocking part was that at that very moment i realized, that i had been molested. I have pride in myself for being so strong and not turning to the self destructiveness that so many others do. I remember when my grandmother died, i watched my grandfatehr cry, i had no feelings except for the fact that i was glad i had not said anything to her. I was hoping she did not know that her marriage was led a lie. I still see my grandfather from time to time, i cant help but feel that i am the one with the advantage because i know who he really is.  And one day he will answer to GOD>  To make matters  worse he is a minister over a chruch and tries to get others to follow his word. I believe it is all about the powerfrul situation in which he thinks he has the control. I just sit and laugh, i know that God has the control.  One day he will have to answer for his mistake.

terahcloud terahcloud
22-25, F
Feb 8, 2010