Past Memories

I'm 19 years of age now and when I was 14 I was molested for 2 and a half years. I volunteered on a railway and that's where it happened. This bloke who I thought was friendly turned out not to be. He forced me to touch him and stuff. He said he would kill me and my whole family if I reported him. He forced me to do a lot of things I didn't want to do. I felt so vulnerable, afraid, alone, helpless and dis-hearted   His still harassing me and following me and contacting me through social chat sites. However, the police are reluctant to help me with anything. I'm still finding life a big struggle at the moment. I feel very suicidal about this. I don't get any support from anyone. Even my own family say I am being pathetic by not letting this go. But it's so hard to. I don't like anyone touching me, walking behind me or staring at me. I know how pathetic this all sounds, but I even get paranoid if someone gets a bit close to me. I find it so hard to maintain friendships, especially with work colleagues.
supercasino supercasino
18-21, M
5 Responses Dec 3, 2012

Just read your experience from two years ago. I trust you're still around and hope you're still on EP. I hated to see you say you felt "very suicidal" about what happened. I won't pretend to understand all the effects the experience had on you, but I would hope that you could get past any thoughts of suicide. That would do nothing to stop the guy; nothing to help you. Again, I don't have answers; I'm not a counselor; I'm just a guy who hates injustice. And YOU being gone because of a dirtbag would be injustice. YOU are not the problem; he is. Don't let him take your life, your happiness. Choose, rather, to overcome. Give yourself as much time as you need, but be the victor. He wants you to be a victim. Be the victor. Take care!

your not athetic your family obviously arent taking this seriously . if you have another adult figure you can trust and think might hel contact them . i wish this sicko bastard would leave you alone

"But it's so hard to. I don't like anyone touching me, walking behind me or staring at me. I know how pathetic this all sounds, but I even get paranoid if someone gets a bit close to me. I find it so hard to maintain friendships, especially with work colleagues."

same here

thats creepy that he is trying to contact you. yikes. i'm surprised the police wont help do they at least have the guys name?

no don't say that your not pathetic. your not pathetic. the dumb pine city police in minnesota wont do anything about my father molesting me since i was born tell age 15. the stupid investigator laughed and smiled while recording me when i was 19 in 2010 or 2011. i know how you feel. your family is dumb for thinking your pathetic my dumb brother lies and covers up what our father did to us hes in denial and wont admit to anything. i also got sexually assaulted by my older bother he poked me in the boob when i was 15 and he was 16 i am 21 now.