I Don't Even Know If This Counts As Molestation, But It Feels Bad.

So, until I was about ten-years-old, we lived in a housing development. I was friends with a lot of the kids on my street, and when I was nine, I was over at one of the oldest girl's house. Me, her, and a bunch of our other friends were all running around her yard. She had some of her guy friends over, and the one boy's dad was at the neighbors house working on his car. I wasn't allowed down at that house because it was too far down our road for my parents to be able to look out a window and see us, but the dad - I can't remember his name anymore - got mad all of a sudden and came out and yelled at me, pointed and told me to come into the garage with him. I was confused, because I hadn't done ANYTHING; I'd been sitting on the ground beside a tree laughing at everybody. I told him I wasn't allowed down that far, but he said he wanted to ask me something and it "wouldn't take long" so I went into the garage with him.

When we got in, he just sort of stood there staring at me for a moment. I was getting uncomfortable because I couldn't see any of my friends anymore, and he looked pretty mad, and then he said: "Did you flash my kid?"

I was confused. I was nine-years-old; I had no freaking ****, okay. I had nothing. I told him that I didn't, that nobody had flashed anybody, but he just yelled at me that I was a liar. I was about to cry, and he said, "Don't cry. Show me what you did."

I was STILL confused, and I asked him what he meant, and he told me to lift my shirt up as high as I had toward his son. I told him again that I never lifted my shirt to anybody; I wasn't allowed to, and I didn't want to. But he just kept on telling me to show him how high my shirt was, so I finally lifted it up just a little bit - not even to my belly button. He got this look on his face and said, "Now I know you're lying. You lifted it up farther, didn't you? Show me how far."

I was scared, so I lifted my shirt up just a little bit more, and every time he kept on telling me to lift it higher, show him how high my shirt had been raised. When it was raised almost all the way up, I was really scared because I didn't want him to see anything else; I didn't want him to make me raise my shirt all the way because I'm a girl and he's a boy and an adult. When I stopped raising it, he got mad again and said, "You lifted it all the way, didn't you? Show me! ******* show me!"

I was about to cry again, but he told me that I'd better not cry and I'd better lift my shirt, so I did; I finished lifting it all the way. I immediately went to pull it back down, but he held a hand up and said, "No. Don't. Let me see." So, since I was scared, I stood there with my shirt raised for what felt like forever until he started to reach a hand out to touch me. His hand was almost on me when I turned around and ran out of the garage, past everybody in my friend's yard, and back to my house. I hid behind some of the things on our porch for a really long time until I thought he'd forget what he did, and when I went back, his son (I think his name was Dylan) said that he wanted to talk to me again, but I said that I had to eat dinner and was just coming over to tell everybody goodbye. I left again, and I was so afraid that he was going to come to my house, but he didn't.

I thought about this a lot last night - I was up almost all night, actually, thinking about it. And I'm not sure if that could count as molestation, sexual abuse, or if it even counts as ANYTHING. But it makes me feel bad - I feel gross. It makes me upset. It doesn't scare me or anything; I mean, if I ever saw the guy again I'd just keep on walking like nothing had ever happened. But when I think about it, I just get so depressed and feel so worthless because it's sort of my fault, isn't it? I mean, I LISTENED to him; I did what he told me to do even though I knew I wasn't allowed.

I just don't know, really.
CuriousforExperience CuriousforExperience
18-21, F
5 Responses Jan 12, 2013

jesus will heal all your hurts and make you well, ask him

Sounds creepy should have told your parents straight away x

So NOT your fault.

That's just awful, it's not your fault at all. You didn't know what the deal was, you were vulnerable and he was being abusive and taking advantage of you. I think it does count as molestation because it was inducement of a sexual act, one of the descriptions of molestation, he was persuading you in a violent manner to expose yourself so he could touch you sexually. I'm so sorry this happened to you!

Never forget that HE was the adult and you were the child. You did NOTHING wrong! You shouldnt feel worthless. You should remember that. You are not guilty of anything.