Okay this is the first time that I have written my story.... . Well typed it . It all started when my mom (who I love so deeply) got married to this man when I was 5 years old ! I never really had a dad, like really had a dad ,   my biological father was maybe in and out a couple time in my life . This new guy had a little girl! ! Oh how happy I was to have a sister!! ! It was all good at first I just loved my new dad . He was very smart and very nice until one night , mom was asleep and we were just watching tv in the living room like normal.  . He looked down at me smiling little did I know what he was about to take from me . He slowly put his big hands on my no no spot that my mom told me for no one to ever touch . He just held it there... . He told me to tell no one not even mommy  about it or else he would go to jail for a really long time . I didn't want that to happen I loved him he was my daddy now ! I don't remember thinking about it many times after that till  he did it to me again . We just moved in to this new house which my room was so amazing ! The next time that I remember him actually doing more to me was one day my mom went to work at her normal time ! So Jason and I were  wrestling and he took me to the their bedroom , He asked me if I wanted to know what little girls liked and he started licking me down there in my girly spot . I didn't understand what was going on I was only 7 years old ! I remember thinking what is going on ? Why is he doing this ? I don't like it ! This scares me ! After he was done I ran to my the living room with my new baby sister ! She kept my mind off of what just happened ! This and more happened to me for the next 6 years ! My step dad took my innocence from me and tried to make me a women when I was only a child.  . When I realized what was going on it had already happened for  a couple years  , so at the age of 8 or 9 I made a promise to myself to never let anything hold me back from what I wanted to do in life . I told myself for years that  this doesn't effect me in anyway ! I planned on taking the secret to the grave!  . I am 17 years old now going into my junior year of high school . I finally told my mom what was happening to me.  . Every day I fight with the fact that I still love the man that did all this to me......the man that made me experiences how horrible life can get.  . Trust is the biggest thing that gets to me . Even though all this has happened I am so happy with life ! I absolutely love life ! What doesn't kill you only makes  you stonger !
brook9723 brook9723
26-30, F
4 Responses Aug 20, 2014

What was your Moms response? Are they still together? All of the those feelings you have are very "normal" the love for him (he was in a position of power and took advantage of it) As well as the feeling of being angry at him. He was a damaged man. He was wrong. He violated you. Im sorry you went thru that and a very sacred trust between a parent and child was broken. No worries.

mines happened when I was maybe 12 or 13 not at home nor my home town. but while away out of state at a handicapped camp. see I got cornered in the shower area by four older male staffers , held face agaist wall with my hands up high, and each one took turns on my back side doing something to me.. I never told anybody then because I felt it was my fault. this was in 1977.

Well done for telling your mom and opening up, same happened with my brother for years. I never told anyone. Today in my relationships I have massive trust issues and communication problems. I also love life and am an extremely happy person. Although I look confident on the outside I actually am pretty insecure in the inside though. My advice is you seek therapy while you're still young so you don't get hit later in life in your relationships with men xxx

It's definitely not the best idea to hide it. It will eat you alive. I'm proud of you for coming out about it. It's not an easy task.