I can't believe I'm doing this but I need to get this out of my system. I cannot remember my age I think I was around the age of 10 but I remember everything so distinctively.

It was my mothers boyfriend who she has been with for so long. The first time it happened I remember him laying on the Sofa and he tells me to come and lay with him.

It was just 5 mins after my mother left to go to the shops so I lay on the sofa with him just thinking why does he want me to lay on the sofa.

I remember it was like 8 9 ish because it was quite dark outside. I had my school uniform on a white shirt and black trousers that had a button and zip farsen.

He placed his hand on my stomache and worked his way down to my private area and slipped it under my pants.

I had a yellow cup in my hand that was empty from the milk I just drank. He was stroking it which seemed forever my heart was pounding I was so scared.

The door bell rang and I remember saying I need to get that .I lived in a flat so it was like a bell that was a telecom phone and I remember jumping up to answer the door and it was my mum I think.

Ever since than I was frightened of him whenever he came over I used to go straight to bed and pretend I was asleep no matter what the time.

And one day I just told my Aunty who is a Jehovah witness I begged her not to say anything to my mum but she called her straight away.

He just stood there and lied to everyone in my face and my mother is still with him up to this day despite all my auntys speaking to her.

I am 19 now although I hardly think about this when I do I break to so bad. I have. Boyfriend now who is amazing and I can really console and trust I'm him whole heartedly.

It makes me so angry people in this world can look a poor innocent on the eye and hurt them so bad.

Sometimes I feel so crushed and just wanna have a child to give them all the love and protection I never had and have a bond so unique and strong because that is what I craved for when I was younger from my mum.

Stay strong guys never feel ashamed we have nothing to hide from. This our lives we never asked for this to happen but it did. Don't let it become you let it be something that happened to you but your dealing with it . X
Isabellacass Isabellacass
22-25, F
1 Response Aug 28, 2014