My Younger Sister Molested Me

I remember one day coming home from school - my sister must have been in kindergarten, because she was aleady home - that made her 5 - I was two years older, but she was bigger than me.  Something had happened between her and a younger boy who my mom was babysitting.  I remember asking what happened and being told it was none of my business.  After that - one night my sister came to my room - she asked if she could sleep with me.  Once she got into my bed she said she was going to pretend to be a puppy and lick me all over - she started to lick me on my face and arms and stomach.  She then started to remove my underware - I said no - she said yes - that she was going to - she pushed me back and started to lick my ****.  After that night she would come back frequently - she would bring a pencil or pen and insert it in her vagina and ask me to move it around while she laid on top of me and licked me.  She tried a couple of times to get me to put things into myself - but it hurt so I wouldn't let her. 

She would put things into herself often - we would be sitting watching TV and I would hear noises and turn around and see her with a pencil up her vagina she would pull her underware aside and be moving the pencil around.  She threatened that if I told what she was doing - that she was going to tell them it was my fault - that she was the favorite and they would blame me - she was probably right about that.  They allowed her to abuse me in other ways - they would make us bathe together and she would push my head under the water and sit on my back - they thought that was funny.  She would put me in the toybox and sit on the lid so I couldn't get out.  So when she told me that they would believe her - she was right. 

I tried hiding from her - I would sit on the stairs until she fell asleep so if she came into my room I wouldn't be there.  I remember telling them she was coming into my room - and I didn't want her there - they ignored me.  She told people in school too - that she was licking me there - she brought a friend of ours home - the older sister of the boy she had molested when she was in kindergarted - and took her to her room - on the floor - behind the bed - and molested her - and then did it again - to another sister at their house.  

I remember being in hthe bathtub and feeling dirty - I wanted hot water there to try to clean her off me - my mother walked in to the bathroom and saw me running water over it  - she yelled at me and called me dirty - thought I was doing it for sexual gratification - didn't even bother to talk to me about it - but told my dad and sisters that I had done that.  After that I knew I couldn't tell - they wouldn't listen to me - they would blame me. 

The abuse continued until I was 11 or 12 and moved into a different room with a lock on the door.  Then I started locking my door every night and it stopped. 

I'm confinced that she was molested by someone - I'm even convinced that my parents knew about it - but they just keep secrets and as a result of their secrets at least three of us got hurt.  

I tried to talk to my sister about it later - and told that we should talk about what happened - and why - I'm convinced that she was molested and wanted to help her - she just got pissed - said I am the one that molested her and the conversation stopped there.  

I'm sure that she's lied to the rest of my family - she's liked and they are all great friends with her while I'm the black sheep - so I'm sure they got the same story that she tried to get me to believe when I confronted her. 
lostandconfused14 lostandconfused14
3 Responses Oct 9, 2011

I am truly sorry, the same has happened to me, but with rape. My younger sister always used me instead of ************, I know how it feels to want to be purified, cleaned, let all wash away. I try and try to talk about it with her, she ignores it. It still happens every night.

I'm sorry this happened and hope that you are able to get past these awful experiences. It is too bad that she was so awful to you, and worse that no one believed you or helped you. I am glad you realize she was probably reacting out of being treated poorly herself, but that is still no excuse to treat you so poorly. I'm sure that today she has convinced herself that she was the victim so that she doesn't feel as bad about how she treated you.
I know that experiences like this often have consequences later in life and if so I would check in with someone to talk with who knows what they are doing. -I know in my case it really helped me work through some experiences from my past that were affecting me as I grew up. Maybe suggesting to her that she also sees someone presenting it less that she was to blame, but more along the lines of based on what happened, that she too can deal with whatever occurred as it clearly altered her a lot.
Regardless, I think you are incredible for not harboring nothing but hatred for you sister and parents over this. I hope that you are able to overcome all of this and lead a "normal" life.

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