Broken

I was molested by my step bother at the age of 6 he was 16. It only happened once but it still haunts me everyday. i hate the fact that i can still see the room the exact was it was and what i was wearing and what he said to me and what i said to him. He made me put his **** in my mouth i was so confused about why he was asking me to do that. All i said was i dont want too. he said please just try it and i listened how could i have been so stupid. I have only told one person but never my family. When i was about 15 i went to spend some time with my older sister she was 21. she told me that she had been molested by someone else in our family and that she told our mom and dad but they didnt do anything about it. it wasnt our step bother who molested her. then when i was 17 i got pregnant and all of a sudden i started getting flashbacks of what happened to me. at first i was telling myself that is was just the hormones and it would  pass i was able to put it in the BACK of my head for a long time. but over the years i was so confused about the feeling that i had and i was asking how could i have forgotten what happened for all those years. I know it happend and i dont know what to do about it  i feel like no one will believe me for saying it now. Im pregnant and cant seem to stop crying espicially when i know i have to see him or do something with the family. i was so scared to find out if we were gunna have a girl because i dont want anything to happen to her. Any advise????
brokeninpices brokeninpices
22-25, F
4 Responses May 20, 2012

Want some advice? Spell right then maybe you'll get some

i was molested by my brother, when i was 6 and he was 16 or 17. what makes me sick is that i thought it was normal. he did the exact same thing to me that your stepbrother did. I wish i could tell someone about it, but the sad thing is i don't want to destroy my family with the news, since it happened so long ago. he has a family now and i truly believe he does not abuse them. so i am trapped with my secret. anyway, i hope things get better for you, and they probably will.

I was molested by my brother when i was about 7-8years old. My parents didn't really do anything either and i had no one. I'm 14 now and just recently i talked to my brother (the one who did it...) and i finally got my apology. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I knew he's changed now but.....my voice started cracking when i brought it up and i started to hysterically cry. I didn't think i'd cry,actually. After 7years of pure misery and tears i didn't think i was capable of crying over it. But your story touched my heart. <3 i am truly sorry, i know it may seem you have no one but people do care. Even if she's a girl don't worry. No one can hurt her. & never feel that you need to let this man see her. If you feel uncomfortable with it then don't ever let him touch her. That's your child. I know this will be hard but she/he will need you. Your the mother. Do what's right. I know in my heart that you'll be okay. & you'll be an AMAZING mother. Better than mine,that's for sure. Just be their for her. You must promise me that because IF something were to happen to him/her they will most likely keep it a secret for years & i'm sure you can understand that. Take care. <3 <3

I was molested by my brother too. It is always scary to see him, ya know? You dread it, but you have to put on your happy face. It gets so tiring. My parents didn't do anything either. I'm somehow good friends with my brother, but it is always in the back of my mind. Your best friend is time. Your baby will need you.