I Don't Know What To Do

I am 20 years old and having a very difficult time with dealing with what happened to me years ago. My brother who is 8 years older than I am experimented with me when I was around 5 years old. I don't remember exactly what happened but I know that things happened. I came to the realization this year that what happened to me wasn't right and I confided in my boyfriend who I love very much. He didn't understand how that could have happened and how I still want my brother in my life. Deep down I know it was a mistake and I still love my brother. My boyfriend told me I should tell my family about what happened. They had the reaction that I wish my boyfriend had. They were disturbed by it but were there to support me and my brother and be there for us. They wanted us to figure it out and get past what happened. My boyfriend told me that if I don't get rid of my brother he won't be with me. I tried to explain to him that I wasn't raped like he thinks, and that it was a big mistake. I even talked to my older brother about it and he said he is ashamed of what happened and apologized to me. He never harmed me or threatened me. He just didn't realize what he was doing when we were kids. I have read a lot of stories similar to mine. I know what happened isn't normal but I believe everyone can get past the terror. Now I don't know what to do about my boyfriend because I don't want to lose him and I don't want to lose my brother. I need advice with what to do about this. I want to fix this situation rather than just saying he isn't worth it and leave. I want him to be there for me no matter what. I haven't talked to my brother in months because my boyfriend told me to stay away from him. I know he's being controlling because he loves me and wants the best for me. Help me please
help92 help92
1 Response Jan 11, 2013

If your brother were 8 yrs older than that would have made him 13. The law considers him a child and not very responsible for his actions. He was just a kid and regardless of what you have read,,, it happens a lot ( according to women in my group).
You may have touched on something very serious without being aware of it. Your BF. From what you said he seems like the "Cover Boy" for the type of men that many of us find. Authority types. (Daddy). The if-then types ...you know the type that gives ultimatums? If you fail to do what they want, then they threaten some sort of punishment. So at what point will he demand something that you can't or won;t do?
Sounds to me as though he wants to run your life. From my experience there will eventually be a time when yo fall short of his demands and the fight will go like "Well, your all ****** up and you come from a ****** up family, people won't blame me because they know it's you".
I'm no expert and I have been wrong many times before. I have also been with this kind of man more then once in my life, it seems I somehow attract them