Molested By My Cousin

I was also molested by my cousin between the ages of 6 and eight. I am in my mid 30's now and I still remember the events surrounding the abuse as if it were yesterday. I'm not sure how much the abuse has affected me, although I will admit that I have problems that I think may be related to the incidents. The thing is, is that I have never been open with any therapist or counselor about what happened to me. I guess I feel as though I would be betraying my cousin if I were to disclose this sort of information to a complete stranger. I also feel like why bother with it since this is something that happened so many years ago. But as I try to move on with my life, I find myself thinking a lot about what took place. It bothers me, but I don't know what to do. I feel disrespected by my family because when I finally did try and tell another family member, I felt like they did not believe me. I almost feel as though it should have happened to me. My cousin has never been confronted and I somehow feel cheated because of the simple fact that I am here living , trying my best to deal with the effects of what the molestation may have had on me, while my cousin is somewhere living out his happy life, unaffected at all by what he did. I'm a little jealousy to say the least. I'm not sure what I want to happen. I guess I just want to know what damage being molested has caused me, if any, so that I can deal with it appropriately. As for my cousin, I know that I would never oust him like that, and besides, this happened when he was only a teenager so I'm not too sure if he is to blame. Maybe someone was doing to him and he decided to experiment with me and my cousin. Anyways, I guess I will try to accept the fact that In was molested and that it may have messed me up a little and I guess move on from there. I am grateful to have been able to share my story. Feel much better now.
everwindy34 everwindy34
6 Responses Jan 11, 2011

you look it up and then click on a make a story thingie

That is sad...i kno this is kinda of rude but how do i post one of these

Im sorry for what happened to you.. your story is so similar to myns.. but im 16 goin to be 17 in a few days i barley told my mom on my 16th birthday my moms the same age range as you she had me young, i was about 6 or so i jst member i was starting kindergarden when it happened.. since my mom was so young she did anything she could to make sure we were okay so she would work alot and she would leave me at my grandmas house.. well there would be times where my grama would go out and run airends and my cousin had jst moved in my gramas house to live for a while so my grandma thought i was okay staying there with him cuz she was just going to be out for a while.. my cousin was maybe like 16 while i was 6 at the time.. it happend a couple times to me by him but there was this time were i remember very clearly.. when my grandma had left it was just me and him at the house i remember him putting on cartoons so i culd watch t.v bt then he told me that if he let me watch carttons that he wanted to change the chanel after my show was over then when the show was over he out on a ***** and told me to stay and watch it with him then i remember he took me to my grandmas laundry room and set me on top of the washer and drier and told me to he wanted to do what we saw.. i was young and thought nothing of it being bad so i didnt say nothing when he was doin what he was doing.. i wish i would of though... well after i remember him taking off my pants and going down on me then i guess my grandma was already coming so he didnt continue.. he never got farther then doing that to me... which i feel really lucky well i im not really lucky but i try to tell my self that i was lucky because i could of gotten raped but i didnt and i tell myself that atleast he didnt rape me and go and kill me but i tell my self that so it can be easy for me not to think of it becasue it doesnt seem reall but me and my cousin had always seen each other at family events my mom was always there for him trying to help him because hes her cousin and because he got molested when he was younger so she always tried to be there for him we used to even go camping with him and his girl friend we even used to talk all the time because i dont think he knows i remember so we both act like if nothing ever happened but over the years i had problems here and there cuz me and him kinda had a close relationship.. i never said nothing to no one til barley so when my mom found out she went crazy and dis owned him as a cousin but to me it was like why even do that to him like oh well it was a whole long time ago once my whole family knew i was mad cuz i didnt want every one knowing but they did but evrybody was on my side and dis owned him it was like if they were mad for me cuz i wasnt mad because it was so many years ago you know but my mom sent me to a counslor to talk and i really love the lady because she was a victim of a RAPE so she so understands my advice to you is that you should go talk to a counselor but look for some one who has been a victim who wuld really understand you and then your answers will be answered.. dont feel like your betraying your cousin because your not ur jst talkin to someone for advice and getting your questions answered its going to be confidential because its jst bewtween you and the counselor.. oh and another thing if your cousin was a victim of molestation he still has NO right to have done that to you it still doesnt make it okay... i talked to my mom about that like oh well maybe its cuz that happend to him so he thinks its okay she gave me the best advice i ever heard she said that, that was still not okay for him to do that becasue i was a victim and so was my mom and that were not out there thinking its okay and doing it to other kids i thought she was soo right so i stivk by that now but all i wish from my cousin is an apology becaus im a huge forgiver even though that was not right of him at all.. well im sorry i wrote sooo much i jst seen your story and watned to help because i know how it feels i thought i would betrayed my cousin to but you dont have to do that all u gotta do is talk to someone...if you ever want to talk i am here for you :)

Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Gretchen Paules and I am the Administrative Director for a newly formed nonprofit called the Let Go...Let Peace Come In Foundation. Our mission at LGLPCI is to help heal and support adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse worldwide. We are actively seeking adult survivors who would be willing to post their childhood photo & caption, their story, or their creative ex<x>pressions to our website We also have a youtube video that can be viewed at By uniting survivors from around the globe we hope to provide a stronger and more powerful voice to those survivors who have not yet found the courage to speak out or have been cast aside with disbelief. You are not alone! <br />
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I am writing to you today to ask you to please consider posting to our website. It is through the support of courageous survivors like you that we will succeed in our effort to help one survivor at a time. If you have any questions please feel free to e-mail me directly at Together we can; together we should; together we NEED to stand up and be counted.<br />
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Warmest Regards,<br />
Gretchen Paules<br />
Administrative Director<br />
Let Go...Let Peace Come In Foundation<br />
630 W. Germantown Pike; Suite 180<br />
Plymouth Meeting, PA 19462

I'm 22 and I just recently started dealing with the molestation that I endured. Courage to Heal is an awesome book to read... It helped me sooo much with everything. It made me realize the things that I was experiencing was because of the molestation. Just saying.. its a good read! Changed my life :)

I'm very sorry to hear about this happening to you. I wish you nothing but the best.