I Was Molested By My Cousin
I was molested as a young child,very young about 3 years of age.I don't recall exactly how old I was because I was that young.However I guess age 3 because I wasn't able to speak very well when this all happened.I tried to tell but no one would understand me since I was crying hysterically and didn't know many words.The people I told who were my sister and my other cousin both females thought he just played roughly with me or took a toy and dismissed my cry and told him to leave me alone.It happened many times at his house. He would lay on top of me and dry hump me for long periods of time,once he tried to make me give him oral.I didn't for some reason.He would tell me things like that i was his girlfriend and he was my boyfriend.This traumatized me and messed up my mind so much you guys have no idea.I know society makes it a huge deal when women are molested or raped as girls but it's so unfair that when it comes to us men we get no sympathy at all whatsoever it's like a "too bad get over it" kind of attitude. I am a male who was molested by another male, and no one understands that unless they themselves have been through it.I hope someone here reads this and can talk to me because I am literally going crazy.I am 20 years old now and I feel so worthless.I am addicted to sex with men,and I am always the receptor or bottom.I am so confused,I act so feminine bu yet I am a man.I have such difficulty acknowledging myself as a man I am so scared and intimidated of other men,I fear they will all hurt me and if not they will touch me.I feel everyman wants to have sex with me and 10 out of 10 times they do.I am so afraid that my own family sometimes wants to have sex with me.I feel so worthless as a man I don't feel like a man at all but I don't feel like a girl either, I feel like nothing.My cousin now is one of those homophobic kind of guys and hates gay men but yet when no one is around I know he has sex with me because of what he did to me, a lot of men do things with other men on the downlow then try to show off infront of theyre girlfriends how manly they are by putting the same guys they have sex with down its so unfair its total bias and it needs to end.We are all men and some of us try to not be by transitioning into looking like women but we are men who just can't handle the self-hatred in this world.We don't want to die but it seems like if we are ourselves we will so we hide it and this cycle continues.It's lie or die and I'm tired of lying if I die I know I will die with dignity and respect because I am me.
By:
thedayviid
Age:
18-21
