Post

Broken To 1000 Pieces...

i had this aunt to which i am really close.
i really loved her family.
SHE HAD TWO SONS. THE YOUNGER ONE IS OF MY AGE.
AS KIDS WE USED TO PLAY TOGETHER AND WE WERE REALLY GOOD FRIENDS. I WENT TO THEIR HOUSE FOR SUMMER AND HE ALSO CAME TO OUR HOUSE.
SO IT WAS A HAPPY NICE FAMILY.
ONCE I WENT TO HIS HOUSE. I WAS 13 AND HE WAS TOO 13.
WE WERE SLEEPING IN THE SAME ROOM AND NO ONE ELSE WAS THERE . OTHER PEOPLE WERE HAVING DINNER. I FELT HIS HAND ON MY BODY. I WAS SORT OF PARALYZED. I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WAS HAPPENING BUT DEFINITELY IT WAS HORRIFYING. SO I GOT UP AND STARTED TO CRY AND TOLD HIM TO STOP. THEN HE WAS LIKE 'I AM SORRY' . AND THEN I DIDN'T TELL ANYONE ABOUT IT BECAUSE I REALLY LIKED HIM AND TRUST HIS FAMILY.
I KNEW THIS WILL BUILD A HUGE MESS. SO I FORGAVE HIM.
THEN EVERYTHING WAS KIND OF FINE.
WE WERE STILL GOOD. BUT HE STARTED TO BE REALLY CLOSE TO ME. HE HUGGED ME A LOT AND ALL. SORT OF THINGS WE DO WITH CUTE BABIES AND ANIMALS.
BEFORE I CONTINUE I MUST CLEAR THAT I HAVE NEVER BEEN INVOLVED IN SUCH ACTIVITIES LIKE SEX AND ALL. I CAME TP KNOW ABOUT THESE THINGS JUST RECENTLY.I HAVE NEVER GONE IN SEARCH FOR SUCH THINGS THAT FORBIDDEN ME .
I AM A VERY INTROVERT AND SHY GIRL WHO HAS JUST 3- 4 FRIENDS. WE ARE ALL VERY SIMPLE PEOPLE.
SO EVERYTHING WAS GOOD. BUT ONCE WHEN I WAS 15 I FOUND HIM HUGGING ME AT NIGHT . HE HAD CLIMBED UP TO MY BED. I WAS CONFUSED AND SCARED. HE STARTED TO TOUCH MY BODY. IT WAS SO WEIRD. I FELT SO QUEER. AND HE PRESSED MY HAND ON HIS THINGS! IT WAS UNBEARABLE SO I JUST PUSHED HIM AND HE FELL OF THE BED.
THEN HIS BROTHER WOKE UP AS THE SOUND WAS LOUD . HE ASKED HIS YOUNGER BROTHER WHAT HAPPENED. AND THE YOUNGER BROTHER( ONE WHO MOLESTED ME) SAID NOTHIN AND JUST RUSHED OF TO RESTROOM.
I WAS SO SCARED AND CONFUSED. I WAS PARALYZED AND COULDN'T SPEAK ABOUT THIS TO ANYONE. I REALLY TRUSTED HIM AND HIS FAMILY BUT NOW EVERYTHING WAS SO FREAKY.
OH GOD!
WHY HE DID THIS TO ME?
I ALWAYS BELIEVED HIM LIKE A BROTHER AND REALLY TRUSTED HIM.
WHY HE TURNED OUT LIKE THIS?
WHAT IS MY MISTAKE?
I WANTED TO SAY A 1000 THINGS TO HIM.
HE AND HIS FAMILY VISITED US A LOT BUT I NEVER HAD THE CONFIDENCE TO SPEAK UP. I COULDN'T EVEN COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND WHAT HE HAD DONE TO ME!
I AM SUCH A SIMPLE GIRL...
THEN ONCE I HAD TO GO TO HIS HOUSE. I HAD DECIDED TO SPEAK TO HIM!
HE WAS AGAIN LIKE HUGGING ME AND ALL. HIS DAD SAW US AND MISUNDERSTOOD!
BUT IT ALL SETTLED DOWN IN A WHILE.
I WENT HOME.
I FEEL SO CRUSHED UP!
WHY THIS HAPPENED TO ME?
HE IS SO HAPPY AND PLEASED WITH HIS LIFE HE DOESN'T EVEN GIVE ME A DAMN.
I AM JUST A TORN PPAGE OF HIS LIFE STORY.
(recently i gathered from a common friend that he (my molester) was involved in such things from a very long time like from the age 13.)
ONE NIGHT I GATHERED THE CONFIDENCE TO SPEAK UP AND CALLED HIM AND TEXTED HIM THE LINK TO THE BLOG WHERE I WROTE IT ALL.
I DON'T KNOW HE READ IT OR NOT.
BUT I AM CONTENTED THAT AT LEAST HE KNOWS WHAT HE IS.
I AM STILL DEPRESSED AND TRYING TO MOVE ON.
JOEHOME9 JOEHOME9 18-21 4 Responses Aug 15, 2011

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I know, how you feel my cousin molested me also. And, now he doesn't even seem to remember it, while I still do. He comes to my house all the time, and acts normal with me, but I can't be friendly with him. I hope he ( your molester) sees this and remembers.

It's not your fault. I was once molested too and i kept thinking that it was all my fault

but i now know that it wasn't my fault. Be strong and be brave and you will get through this,

just know that you are never alone in this and never will be

thank you!

thank you!

well u did push him down right .... tht itself shows that u did fight ..... n that it is not at all ur fault at all!!! n he is a very bad person ...... i'm sure he'll pay smday ..... but try to avoid this perv as much as possible ...... n DO NOT talk to him normal that only gives him the message that everything is OK ,which it clearly is NOT...... n may be u shud talk to ur mom if ur close to her ..... you knw may b not the whole scene jus a few things .... if u can tell it all to her ... n HIM be as distant n rude to him as possible.... n pls do not feel broken .... plz i had been thru smthin similar only by a strager .... but thats another story .......... plz gather urself plz u did fight rite ...... means u r strong ... n pls don giv a damn bout such a looser of a cousin ..... del his num n block him on FB or myspace etc if ur into those things n shut him out of ur life .... i knw its very tuff bt plz try n remember its not ur fault wat so ever ... hope to knw hw ur doin... mail me if u wanna talk ...