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Broken To 1000 Pieces...

i had this aunt to which i am really close.
i really loved her family.
SHE HAD TWO SONS. THE YOUNGER ONE IS OF MY AGE.
AS KIDS WE USED TO PLAY TOGETHER AND WE WERE REALLY GOOD FRIENDS. I WENT TO THEIR HOUSE FOR SUMMER AND HE ALSO CAME TO OUR HOUSE.
SO IT WAS A HAPPY NICE FAMILY.
ONCE I WENT TO HIS HOUSE. I WAS 13 AND HE WAS TOO 13.
WE WERE SLEEPING IN THE SAME ROOM AND NO ONE ELSE WAS THERE . OTHER PEOPLE WERE HAVING DINNER. I FELT HIS HAND ON MY BODY. I WAS SORT OF PARALYZED. I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WAS HAPPENING BUT DEFINITELY IT WAS HORRIFYING. SO I GOT UP AND STARTED TO CRY AND TOLD HIM TO STOP. THEN HE WAS LIKE 'I AM SORRY' . AND THEN I DIDN'T TELL ANYONE ABOUT IT BECAUSE I REALLY LIKED HIM AND TRUST HIS FAMILY.
I KNEW THIS WILL BUILD A HUGE MESS. SO I FORGAVE HIM.
THEN EVERYTHING WAS KIND OF FINE.
WE WERE STILL GOOD. BUT HE STARTED TO BE REALLY CLOSE TO ME. HE HUGGED ME A LOT AND ALL. SORT OF THINGS WE DO WITH CUTE BABIES AND ANIMALS.
BEFORE I CONTINUE I MUST CLEAR THAT I HAVE NEVER BEEN INVOLVED IN SUCH ACTIVITIES LIKE SEX AND ALL. I CAME TP KNOW ABOUT THESE THINGS JUST RECENTLY.I HAVE NEVER GONE IN SEARCH FOR SUCH THINGS THAT FORBIDDEN ME .
I AM A VERY INTROVERT AND SHY GIRL WHO HAS JUST 3- 4 FRIENDS. WE ARE ALL VERY SIMPLE PEOPLE.
SO EVERYTHING WAS GOOD. BUT ONCE WHEN I WAS 15 I FOUND HIM HUGGING ME AT NIGHT . HE HAD CLIMBED UP TO MY BED. I WAS CONFUSED AND SCARED. HE STARTED TO TOUCH MY BODY. IT WAS SO WEIRD. I FELT SO QUEER. AND HE PRESSED MY HAND ON HIS THINGS! IT WAS UNBEARABLE SO I JUST PUSHED HIM AND HE FELL OF THE BED.
THEN HIS BROTHER WOKE UP AS THE SOUND WAS LOUD . HE ASKED HIS YOUNGER BROTHER WHAT HAPPENED. AND THE YOUNGER BROTHER( ONE WHO MOLESTED ME) SAID NOTHIN AND JUST RUSHED OF TO RESTROOM.
I WAS SO SCARED AND CONFUSED. I WAS PARALYZED AND COULDN'T SPEAK ABOUT THIS TO ANYONE. I REALLY TRUSTED HIM AND HIS FAMILY BUT NOW EVERYTHING WAS SO FREAKY.
OH GOD!
WHY HE DID THIS TO ME?
I ALWAYS BELIEVED HIM LIKE A BROTHER AND REALLY TRUSTED HIM.
WHY HE TURNED OUT LIKE THIS?
WHAT IS MY MISTAKE?
I WANTED TO SAY A 1000 THINGS TO HIM.
HE AND HIS FAMILY VISITED US A LOT BUT I NEVER HAD THE CONFIDENCE TO SPEAK UP. I COULDN'T EVEN COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND WHAT HE HAD DONE TO ME!
I AM SUCH A SIMPLE GIRL...
THEN ONCE I HAD TO GO TO HIS HOUSE. I HAD DECIDED TO SPEAK TO HIM!
HE WAS AGAIN LIKE HUGGING ME AND ALL. HIS DAD SAW US AND MISUNDERSTOOD!
BUT IT ALL SETTLED DOWN IN A WHILE.
I WENT HOME.
I FEEL SO CRUSHED UP!
WHY THIS HAPPENED TO ME?
HE IS SO HAPPY AND PLEASED WITH HIS LIFE HE DOESN'T EVEN GIVE ME A DAMN.
I AM JUST A TORN PPAGE OF HIS LIFE STORY.
(recently i gathered from a common friend that he (my molester) was involved in such things from a very long time like from the age 13.)
ONE NIGHT I GATHERED THE CONFIDENCE TO SPEAK UP AND CALLED HIM AND TEXTED HIM THE LINK TO THE BLOG WHERE I WROTE IT ALL.
I DON'T KNOW HE READ IT OR NOT.
BUT I AM CONTENTED THAT AT LEAST HE KNOWS WHAT HE IS.
I AM STILL DEPRESSED AND TRYING TO MOVE ON.
JOEHOME9 JOEHOME9 18-21 4 Responses Aug 15, 2011

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I know, how you feel my cousin molested me also. And, now he doesn't even seem to remember it, while I still do. He comes to my house all the time, and acts normal with me, but I can't be friendly with him. I hope he ( your molester) sees this and remembers.

It's not your fault. I was once molested too and i kept thinking that it was all my fault<br />
but i now know that it wasn't my fault. Be strong and be brave and you will get through this,<br />
just know that you are never alone in this and never will be

thank you!

thank you!

well u did push him down right .... tht itself shows that u did fight ..... n that it is not at all ur fault at all!!! n he is a very bad person ...... i'm sure he'll pay smday ..... but try to avoid this perv as much as possible ...... n DO NOT talk to him normal that only gives him the message that everything is OK ,which it clearly is NOT...... n may be u shud talk to ur mom if ur close to her ..... you knw may b not the whole scene jus a few things .... if u can tell it all to her ... n HIM be as distant n rude to him as possible.... n pls do not feel broken .... plz i had been thru smthin similar only by a strager .... but thats another story .......... plz gather urself plz u did fight rite ...... means u r strong ... n pls don giv a damn bout such a looser of a cousin ..... del his num n block him on FB or myspace etc if ur into those things n shut him out of ur life .... i knw its very tuff bt plz try n remember its not ur fault wat so ever ... hope to knw hw ur doin... mail me if u wanna talk ...