Two Cousins,One MeSo I really dont want to write this but I guess my innerbeing is telling me to so I guess I will. This story will be the first time I tell it besides the fact that I chose to already tell a few people here on EP because the situation called for it. Well Here goes...
When I was about five or six I was molested by my cousin. My cousin is eight years older than I am and he is a little "slow". I dont know what illness he has but it just makes his mind a lot of years younger than what he is but he still knew about sex at this time. He would always take me behind the barn after we were finished playing in the sandbox or playing in the feilds(we lived on ten acres of land). He wouldnt take his time. He would lay me down and pull my pants down and proceed to put his penis in my butt. It hurt like crazy but I didnt know better. I was very innocent as some may say. He did this many times througout my five or six year old life. I had taken his penis in both my butt,hands and mouth. He wanted the pleassure and he got the pleassure.
Day time was not the only time he got his action. One time we were sleeping in the same room and I woke up to a penis being inserted into my butt. I pretended to still sleep so maybe he would get off(I dont know what made me think this as it seems he wanted me asleep anyway). He finished what he was doing and good thing he couldnt ********* yet,that wouldve been a mess lol(I laugh yes,Ill get more to that later).
Now lets get talking about my other cousin.Yes two cousins had molested me in my childhood and the weird thing is it happened at the same time my other cousin was molesting me. This cousin was more adventureous though. Lets begin...
Well we were pretty close as early as I can remember. She was four year older than I was so I looked up to her and followed her everywhere. We were playing "house" as little kids do and we were in the shack where we kept fire wood but it was summer time so there was no wood so it made for a really good hiding place and place to play "house". We had set up "curtains" so nobody can see the inside of our "house". We were playing and then all of a sudden we start playing "doctor". Her choice. So we go through procedure and finally start getting examined. I take my shorts off and left standing in my tighty-whities. She takes them off for me. She starts playing with my penis and I start getting erect(it doesnt hurt for me to get erect because I had been watching **** since I was four,my brother's fault). So my little erect penis is as it is and she then starts telling me to play the role of the doctor. I did as she did to me until we were both naked. I have no clue how she already knew about sex but she did. She told me to put it in her so I did because I already knew what to do. She possibly made me the freak I am today(Ill explain in detail in another paragraph). She made me lick every part of of her body.EVERY PART.
So the shack was just one of many spots where she would have her way with me. We would also do things under the bed of my first cousin that would molest me. In my own house. Her house. In the feilds. In the barns. Right beside the cows part of the land. Inside of vehicles. EVERYWHERE she can think of.
So why I laugh. Since I didnt know better I really didnt think it was very wrong of my first cousin to do all of that to me at the time. Since I didnt think it was wrong until years later I found out it was wrong I didnt really care. It happened to me but since I found out "too late" it didnt bother me. It didnt make an imprint on my life. Please dont think Im bragging because I know people get emotionally damaged but I was just fortunate enough for that to not happen.
Why I was made into the freak I am today. When I get into bed with a girlfriend I lick her body like no tomorrow. I lick neck to toe and EVERYTHING in between. I also love to dominate as my cousin dominated me.
So thats my story. As a five or six year old I lived the molested life. It didnt harm me emotionally as far as I know. It possibly made me more emotionally detached because I cant feel for people as some most people will after either being long time friends or a tradgedy. My parents tell me Ive never been able to show my love even as an infant/toddler. So either I was really never a person easily suceptable to geting emotionally attached or that whole year made that characteristic even stronger. But yeah. Ive never told my family and Ive never been to therapy either. So to anybody that thinks their life is over and read this here story know that there is hope and you can move on. Dont let it hold you back because its the past and please Im really not trying to sound like a butthead.
P.s. I have no clue if my cousins did anything together with one another but they did live in the same house.My grandparents took them in from my dysfunctional aunts.
Daphney1001 18-21, M 8 Responses 3 Feb 19, 2012