What Can I Call It?

I really can't recall my age but I know I must have been around 3-5 and my cousin was around 12-14 of age. (i looked threw all my old pic when i was young and he was always next to me in ever pic) Anyways I get this weriod feeling that my cousin molested me back then. When ever he is around me I flinch. I don't know if a girl that age can think of things with such details. What I keep remembering is when we would play hid and seek with my other cousins he would always want to hide with me and while we were hiding he would when I was small grab my butt and leave his hand on it. The other time we played again he hid with me (we hid in a tree )and this time put his hands down my pants to my v spot he said he wanted to try something my other cousin walked up to ask what we were doing and the cousin touching me told him to leave. The next thing I remember was months later our family got together for I think halloween and he said that he wanted to play a new game "doctor" and then he touched me again at my v spot. After all that happened he became very protective of me like when his younger bro made fun of me he would hit him or push him. I told my other younger girl cousin years ago. I feel like I need to look out for her.Note I'm 20 and he is 27 or 28 Did he molest me? should I ask my cousin to tell me why he did what he did to me. P.s before anything happened to me I had a lot of friends and was very talkive and social but now i am anti social I started to remember that I stop talking and hanging out with my friends after what had happened
Buttin33 Buttin33
18-21
May 18, 2012