Am I Wrong, To Not Hate Him?

I think i was about five when it started but i could be wrong. it was summer time at my cottage and i don't remember mush more then that. the next thing i remember is my 14 year old cousin watching me undress, forcing me to undress, and touching me inappropriately. for five years this went on, every time i saw him, every summer. i was scared, but he i didn't want to say "no" cause he would be mad at me. it finally stopped when he moved away. more then four years later i am still scared to tell, even though i hate being touched, and i can't change in the change room at school or in front of people . but the funny thing is, i don't hate him, i know i should but he is family and i can't hate family, is that wrong?
egin123 egin123
13-15, F
2 Responses Nov 27, 2012

Im not going to say i know how you feel but i have been through a similar expierence with my brother. I dont hate him yes i hate what he did to me but i could never hate the fact that something must of happend for him to do that to me. One thing is if you did not get help to face these things it can end up effecting you in the future like it has done me. Sadly you cant push it in a box and be done with it we have to face the effects it has on us :( If you ever need someone to talk to id gladly give you my email. Stay strong

Hi I dont think its wrong. I think its very normal that you dont hate him. I dont hate my molester i cant stand him but I dont hate him and i get along with his wife and love his kids. Its really hard for me to see him and be around him because it still hurts 26 years later. He too stopped molesting me after a move the last time he touch me i was 7. now as a mother of 3 two that are little girls I wish i knew what to do to protect them and give them the courage i never had to tell me if someone ever touches or looks at them inappropriately. Stay strong know your better than what he did to you i pray you get through this before your my age and it eats at you im telling you its ruining me as a wife and a mommy