I Am Done With It

i Wrote my story here quite some time ago seeking for help from the sexual abuse i encountered in the hands of my cousin from ages 8 to 9. i wrote a story under the username lilasmile..i somehow have forgotten the password for that username so i never used back the account...i left ep for awhile and came back under another username and that time i was in dire need of help and wrote my story again EP Link
that account i have deleted long ago but my story still remains here...the second attempt helped..i was fortunate enough to make some good friends here on ep...and some people here who were able to give me great advice and in the end slowly heal me from the pain i had been feeling from the molestation.. i still never told anyone about what happened to me...never told my parents or friends..not brave enough for that till today unfortunately..and still have to meet my perpetrator on a weekly basis for family gatherings and stuff...people still think he's a saint and all that...i just cant tell my family for many reasons...but i definitely encourage people to tell someone about what happened to them...just someone..i couldnt bring myself to tell my friends or family..so telling it to a total stranger here helped wonders as well....what matters now is i have healed and i am moving on with my life..no pain anymore..and i feel so free like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders..its a wonderful feeling..im writing this story to give hope to all other people who feel they cant get out of the darkness..i have read some stories here where some feel a bit confused on whether or not they were molested..even if u were just touched a little in an inappropriate place once very suddenly and unexpectedly...if it leaves u shocked and violated...just not a good feeling in general..u were molested!..and u have a right to feel violated..you are not overreacting....no one has the right to touch u in a way that makes u uncomfortable like that...keep seeking help and never give up..help is there..u just have to tell someone about it..:)
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4 Responses Jan 11, 2013

I'm sorry for what you've faced. But I'm glad that you're moving on. Be careful outside :)

I am so glad you are moving on :) I wish I was half as strong as you..I mean, I told, and he's in prison now, but even though he can't physically touch me anymore, he still haunts me every moment of my life.

Yes. I'm glad to say that I'm slowly progressing. How is going for you.

Oh that's great! I'm really glad to hear it :) and exactly, I hope that someday soon I'll be able put all my focus on the moving forward with my life, and not going back to any of those dark places.

It began last year, but it had to come up from really bad. I attempted suicide, and after a while I told, and began getting specialised support

Its good you were able to tell at least someone. I think I'm finally becoming free. I was truly happy today, which is something I haven't had in years, not as real as this, anyway.

Thank you so much, the same to you!

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I just hope that he doesn't do this to others.