What Now?priv

 when i was younger. from the ages four to about seven or eight. i was molested by my cousin anthony. he is several years older. it was all very strabge to me. i didnt know what my genitals were for except for potty and flicking it around. he would put on videos and say "look this is what you are suposed to do with this". and "hey this is what big kids do. "i trusted him, being that he was always around and he lived across the street from me. he would touch me, and he tried to make me perform oral sex on him and i remember feeling weird about it being in my mouth, and told him that it was gross and i didnt want to do it. this is so hard to write. i hate him so much for this. i wished him dead for so many years i cant even begin to say. he would do the same to my brothers too. this went on until i realized that boys shouldnt be doing these things, and once i found out that it was super abnormal, i never mentioned it again until now for the fear of being called gay or yelled at or being called a liar.