Who Do I Trust Now?

It was all over by the time I was 9. I was abused by others, but they all faded to the background. I was most effected my the trust that was taken from me as a small child by my own dad, that I loved so much. I practiced avoidance of the issue since then, and I am now almost 25. I still carry on somewhat of a relationship with him. I am just now understanding the behaviors and tics I have. This checklist of the after-effects helped me feel a little more normal somehow. http://www.bearingthroughit.org/ChecklistJuly2004.pdf
I have almost all of these effects. It takes over my life and those around me. Please read it!

I originally came on here (EP) to find people like me to connect with. I have no one that truly understands.
22-25, F
1 Response Dec 4, 2012

I feel your pain.... my dad tricked me into thinking that I like what he was doing to me. He even told people/neighbors and relatives that I would go on top of him every night and that I would initiate the molestation process. I am forever damaged and because of it, I have trust issues and could not make a serious commitment with anyone.

I know that what happened to us was horrible... but just like you, I came here to connect. I know I'm not alone.