I don't know where to begin. You've read the title. You know it can't be good.
I have a twist to my abuse. My brother is 2 years younger than me.
I'm panicking as I write this because none of my family nor my friends know this happened to me except me and my brother. When I was about 12, he would say little things like "if you weren't my sister, i'd go out with you" followed by lots of laughs. I never took it seriously and if I could go back to the time that sort of thing was said, I'd stop him in his tracks.
There is one clear memory I have. It was me, sleeping in my bed on my side. I was totally unconscious, in dreamland. But my brother, probably 12/13 at the time, was totally awake. I don’t know what else he had done but I stirred to find him, spooning me as such but he had rested his penis in between my butt cheeks. I don’t remember it being actually inserted into my bottom hole as such but the effect was still there. He was humping me. And the guilt I will live with for the rest of my life is that I didn’t stop him, because by that point, it had happened too many times for me to fight. I remember what I said. I said “just leave when you’re done”. It makes me sick that I allowed him to do that.
The abuse was a common occurence. It didn't stop for about 3 maybe 4 years.
Why am I telling you this, strangers on the internet? Because I need some way of venting. I need some way of thinking to myself about this crappy situation. For 3 years, I have said nothing about this. I have no idea what I am doing on here but hey, this is at least a start.
You can ask me anything.
whatisasociallife whatisasociallife
18-21, F
1 Response Aug 26, 2014

This is a brave first step. Have you considered therapy?

Thank you, and I have considered it but I am just too scared, I know how stupid it sounds.:/

No, it doesn't sound stupid. It's hard to open up and admit what happened. I'm still reserved when talking to my therapist.
However, in my experience, they have not been judgmental and been very kind to me in helping me overcome my problems.