The Secret

when i was fourteen, my bestfriends nineteen year old brother touched me. i went on one of their family camping trips. he asked me to be his sleeping partner, i never saw him as a threat and thought this was completely okay. i dont know why i didnt feel threatened by him before, hes tall and heavy .. more than twice my size. in the middle of the night, i woke up and just layed there waiting to fall back asleep then he kept pulling me closer which i thought he was asleep . but then his hand was on my butt and i thought "hes just sleeping" then his hand went underneath my sweatshirt & my tshirt& my my bra .. and kept feeling me, like squeezing them . and his other hand was grabbing at my crotch but he never put it in my pants . he thought i was asleep the whole time and i was so scared of what COULD happen next, i let him believe i was asleep. when he stopped i rolled to the edge of the bed and cried for my dad . i waited til i could hear him snoring & i ran to the bathrooms and just sat there and cried . i felt dirty & hurt and i was so angry at myself for ever being there . i was trying to establish in my head what had happened, i told asked god why, i even blamed him for it . i just wanted my dad, but i knew what would happen if he found out . i wasnt going to be the reason my dad went to prison for murdering the massive being that touched his babygirl . alls i could do is dwell on what would come of the morning & replaying over, and over and over again in my head .
haren1120 haren1120
13-15, F
May 7, 2012