Being Abused Will Always Be There

I was not raped but I had things happen to me when I was a child. One I remember bits and pieces of, but my stepfather's cousin touched me then grinded on my when I was 9 and tried to convince me to go to his room in the basement( He tried this again when I was 13, I didnt tell anyone about this yet). Ever since then my life was changed I am 29 and I am so fearful of men. When a young girl goes missing I just know that it some creepy man raping her. I have a daughter and I am so fearful. It takes a piece of your life. I don't want any man near her. I think horrible things about men. Sometimes I look as some and see this look ( could be in my mind) and I am wary of them. I see this man all the time. I hate him for what he did, He looks like an old frail alcoholic. He works fixing school buses. I told and my mom when I was 18, she told me it was from me reading books. My family members know and they still associate with him. I feel betrayed but I don't let him ruin my life, he's living his without a worry in the world. I'm just now getting my life together at 29.
smilemovie smilemovie
26-30, F
3 Responses May 6, 2012

Not all men are like that, u just have to find the right one. But I know it's tough. I'm sorry, hope things get better!

I know how you're feeling. My whole family knows but they stillasso Kate with him. They're all in denial. I have a 1 yr old son. I don't want anymore children because I'm afraid of having a daughter. I'm already afraid for my son.

i told my mother that my stepdad molested me when i was 16 and she chose his side.she ven says she believes me but theyre still best friends and when he says jump she asks how can they call themselves mothers?

I don't know especially in 2012 when society does not have the influence that it use to.