Its A Shame

Its a true shame, really. The past that no one wants and every one fears, Can be portrayed in the eyes of a broken girl. The demented happenings that started at age three, Will forever wake the child in the middle of the night in tears. The simple motions of holding hands would make girls blush. She never wanted that or more at that age. However, the innocent concept would merely last only an hour. Next she feels nails raking down her abdomen to her waist, already under clothes. She breaks inside thinking, “this cant be right” The hands easily glide beneath her pants, past all clothes. She buries her face in the pillows to hide the pain; the shame. The man draws blood as he pinches, scratches, and forces down further. Suffocating her tears, the hand reaches the destination so sacred. She knows it wrong when she hears the laughter of the monster to her right. The little girls soul is broken as the fingers plunge in way to deep. She feels the tear through out her entire body. The fight to keep quiet is the hardest thing shell ever have to do. Tainted girl, don't let the others know, her mind screams. Her body's ruined as the man does what he pleases. In hopes that it is finally over, the girl sighs and withers uncomfortably at the pain. All too soon, after the hand was withdrawn, her hopes were destroyed. Her small hand is now guided to a place she wouldn't dream to go for years. Finally connecting to what is happening, she resists. Easily overpowered, her hand is forced down, inside his shorts. Though it wont work she catches her thumb in the belt loops. Fixed in less then a second, the girl is taught how to please under a thin sheet. Disgusted with herself, she allows everything to transpire. Hours after everything is completed, with no suspicions raised, Lef in a room alone she cries. As the warm tears pool, she cries herself to sleep only to be faced with nightmares. Distressed, the girl only sees a dirty girl now. How could she let this happen, it never does in real life, she tells herself. She knows the movies and knows its her fault. She starts the bath and with steam rising from the water, she smiles a broken smile. Less than a week after she lost her soul, it happens again. Theres no running away She doesn't fight, doesn't sleep, she does dare hope or dream for a better tomorrow. No one will have to know the truth, forget the tainted past. Funny how soon history will repeat itself. . First and foremost, the girl couldn't resist the urge to touch. The cycle begins innocently, just like the last. Touching hands never proved to be okay with her. Although, slowly progressed, the result this time would be worse. Simple touches moved to pleasure She knew it was wrong, but it was everything she ever knew. She soon relied on it, craved to be noticed, not hated or disgust people around her. Quickly, she believed this was how this was meant to be. A few years later, she learned to fight back. She would move out of reach, only to be chased. The multiple ones to do this merely thought of it to be a game. Wanting her more, the attempts began to get more forceful. She could never be far enough, never hurt them enough when her hand forced down. The acid touches would leave fire all over. Melted broken souls are only good for two things. With innocence gone, she found she was good for a toy, Only a person meant to please others and used to get by. She didn't know which was right, which was how it was suppose to be. Years went on gentle and forced both lasted. Now at age 19, she faces the truth. Over fifty times of being molested, shes lost count; She knows she is better than whats said. To be in relationships meant only safety for her. With guys who she could rely on to protect her, she turned a blind eye to her past. Not wanting to be seen as a tainted girl, She strived for perfection, to be smart and talented. Every day she screamed but with a smile. Her past: Its a true shame, really. But look at her now.

FLObloom FLObloom
18-21, F
2 Responses Feb 24, 2010

the pain never ends for me i know the feeling...i understand what you went through i havnt told my story yet but when i get the courge to i will i thank you for shareing your store because i know iam not alone..

Oh my God . This is so very sad. I have such a lump in my throat. I hope you are doing okay. Take care..