My First Love

I met him when i was 15 years old and hes 8 years older than me. He's still single then. The relationship is on and off,maybe because I am still minor. Until i reached 18 years old i gave up my virginity for him. I didnt regret it since i love the man so much. Until one day he said hes getting married (to woman w/ his age). I didnt demand for an explanation i just cried and let him go im so young and naive.There are rumors that it was just a force marriage according to my bestfriend. After 15 long years we met again and get back together im still single and hes still married with 3 children. He encouraged me to go back to college and hes supporting all my needs. My studies and
everything. I can feel he loves me now more than he loved me before. I tried ending up the relationship many times but he doesnt want to. He even wants us to have a child. I know i cant compete with the wife,still the priority is his family,and it hurts me so much everytime he's with his family. Sorry this is too long
:(. What can i do?
Mayalein Mayalein
31-35, F
4 Responses Dec 15, 2012

hi, we have almost the same story and situation though I cant give you an advise cause some way in another we have different preception in what we getting into. I just feel happy knowing I am not alone experiencing the same situation be a mistress of our first love and competing to his wife and or his family, his priority ....My only regret is I dnt have child to him, I cant give him a child , because I am married too , so afraid of scandal will bring to us and to my children..

Run as fast as you can. God knows I'm not here to judge but I've seen it too many times and it usually doesn't end well. If he leaves her for you (which I seriously doubt, and why would he since currently he has you both) you won't trust him. If he stays you will be heart broken. Go to school and get your education so you won't have to depend on a married man to support you. That is his way of keeping you around knowing this situation is unfair for you. If a man is married with children he is off limits. It's trouble but when you're tired of feeling lonely while the wife and family gets all of his time, trust me you'll move on. Best of luck to you.

So you in love with a married man, I don't recommend you to stay with him anymore becuase he has children please don't be such a factor in their divorce. Here's the thing life full of mens and he's human been. He began his life and that's all you now it's your turn to start you life with new realtionship with other man whatever, especially you still young for it. obvisouly it's hard to forget but you have no choice ! he's not everything. if he married that women by force why he doesn't sacrifice for you to prevent that marriage?. you have to deal with it now, to stay with married man and destroy his family life or to rebuild your life again with another man. It's up to you...

Personally I believe age is no bar to attraction. As someone who has been in an affair with an older married woman, my own feelings were somewhat mixed. The deception and lies proved difficult to manage. Eventually, after one lie too many, we broke up.

Please bear in mind this man has once let you down, it could be attraction, it could be that in his current marriage he’s bored. Only you know.

Whatever you choose, play it calm and reasoned.

Good luck

Thank you so much :). Somehow im enligthened. My mind always tells me to stop but i cant. Aside from the love i have for this guy hes supporting me financially..