I Used to Hate Myself Too And I'm Still Struggling With That

I wouldn't say that I'm exactly anorexic, but I do have an obsession with my weight. Sometimes I would feel like I am too fat I would go on a starvation diet to lose the weight quickly. Right now Im on a starvation diet because I weigh130 lbs and I really do have a fear of being fat.

When I see the skinny girls pass by I envy their shape, so that motivates me to starve myself more so I can be like them. I used to think that I was the most ugliest person that God ever created and I would always question him, asking him why did he have to make me look the way I look. I just started accepting me for me and not worry about what ppl think of me, it is a hard thing to do, but I will make it day by day and with Jesus' help. I still hate myself sometimes for things that I've done in the past and I just can't seem to forgive myself for them. I know God has forgiven me and has let it go, its just so hard on my part to forgive myself and forget about it.

Princess Princess
18-21, F
2 Responses Dec 1, 2006

what can you achieve by becoming more like other people?

Wow, I know exactly how you feel. It was like I was reading something I wrote.