Now I Know
I was in a double love triangle--I was married when I met the man that is my spiritual partner.....but he also has a girlfriend.
I divorced.....and he still couldn't end his relationship with her.
I think there's some karma produced by my infidelity in my own marriage, and coming into his relationship with his girlfriend, and this karma is keeping himi from being able to commit fully to me right now.
Everything has its cause and effect, and this has caused me a great deal.
Now I am trying a new thing...
I withdraw my self from this love triangle, let their relationship run its course without my interference.
I give him back to her. For 3 months, I will not think of him as my love interest, and not contact, email, or arrange to see him.
And with this action, I hope there comes a true spiritual partner for me, who can devote his whole body, mind and soul to me, whether it will be him or not.
It is not easy, and it has taken me 10 months to muster up the courage, and gather enough insight to see this situation clearly. I have gone through much heart-breaks, broken-body-feeling, and grief in every joint of the body, and oceans of tears.
I will never break into another's relationship again, even more being unfaithful in my own relationship.
Now, with this decision, I feel clean and light.
I have full faith that everything will work out the best for all three of us.
Thank you for letting me share my experience