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A Letter To My Grade School Crush

Dear crush,

i liked you since we met in 5th grade. i never had the courage to tell you till we where in high school. i always found you funny and cute but we never really talked. i was fine with this, becasue i liked looking insted of talking. we became friends and i liked you even more. but you never took me as someone who you would go out with. i was your fat friend who just happend to be a girl. you even told me that you thought of me as one of the guys. i took it as a complement but it hurt for me to find that out. i became friends with your girlfriend before you began going out with her. we agreed to share "the veiw" of looking at you. but the heart wanted what it wanted and you went out with her. i didnt like what she put you through. being so jealous that you had to delete all the girls numbers out of your phone, not being able to talk to me because she didnt like our friendship. to fighting and breaking your heart over and over again. you said you loved her and i didnt want to pry into your love life so i let it go. i was there when you had your heart broken, i was there to pick up the peices. but i began to resent you for being so weak. i started to hate you because you kept going back to her even though she didnt treat you right. we graduated and we lost contact but i still thought of you. i still loved you. i was extatic when you transfered to my college but you never wanted to talk to me. so i moved on to bigger and better things. i decided to let you go and think of myself and not obsesse over you. i told you i liked you but by then it was to late. you have her and i have myself and im not angry or sad about it like i use to be. for over 8 years i loved you. but you never liked me so ive decided to let you and my grade school crush in my past. i wont bury it, your still my friend and i will always be there for you. but i will never be with you.

-your friend
Silent20 Silent20 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 20, 2012

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you must widen out your horizons, networks and whatever. don't just look at him as if he's the only guy in the world :) and i admire you for being such a strong girl. it's pretty hard.

Talk about a sweet n sour taste. That just must of made u crazy watching this man come undone. Do you think (maybe) your heart could have taken the ultimate risk in disclosing your true feelings? Maybe he would've woke up? Maybe he would have realized how nice and compatible you two are/were? Maybe.... now its( what if). That hurts I am sure. I have had a few What ifs in my dayzed existence. I still, like u, totally look back wonderyearning for the chance not taken. I laid my bid down on some pretty lofty futures and got hurt. Now, I look back with eyes closed heart open drenching my fantasies with imagery of her.... Forever and a day, clinching on to the never had and wish I did.

I did tell i liked him. it was when i was a senier in high school but he had his girlfriend and hes not one to cheat and im not a home wrecker so i left it alone at the time. but now im not sure i want to be with him, i still like him but my feelings as a friend out weigh my feelings of "love: for him.