WHY??? You have to be pretty insecure about yourself to be a pathological liar and also have a few loose screws!

My husband would lie about anything,important things and also things that were not the least bit important...it took me awhile to catch on because being the honest person that I am never questioned what he would tell me.UNTIL...a few very obvious things were discovered by pure accident AND HE STILL LIED even though I knew he was lying.

His logic and his views about himself and the whole world were very distorted.He would not tolerate behavior from others like his own and could not see the disconnect...I was like is this for real?

I grew up in a family where honesty was respected and expected,I never knew people like my husband existed and could not understand why..then it hit me,the guy had no self esteem so he pretended to be something he wasn't and never had a single regret about any lies or deception...well his sorry *** had to go right out the door.

I am much wiser and in the future when I don't know someone well I spend more time listening than talking that way they can't pretend to be more like me and if I find they are not in sync with who I am well I see no point in a relationship or friendship.I have to feel I can trust people with my feelings or they will not get any of them because I will not be exploited because I am good natured......

chickster chickster
46-50
2 Responses Mar 18, 2009

I Sassypatty. I am new at this. I have been researching a lot about pathological liars. I think my husband, and soon-to-be ex-husband, is a pathological liar. I just came up with that conclusion after I realized that I fell in love with "a lie". The littlest thing he told me was a lie. To the point that I don't even believe he ever had a dog when he was a child. That's how bad it is.<br />
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Met him in college 20-years ago in the Philippines. My first true love. We planned on getting married after dating for 5 months. You have to understand, I come from a priviledged family. However my family is very conservative and I attended a very conservative and exclusive all-girls school. For college, I attended a co-ed university. Needless to say, I was a very naive young woman when I first entered the university. That's where I met him.<br />
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Sorry for the back-track but I had to give my background. Anyway, he wanted to marry me in front of a judge (a secret marriage, he said, that my parents would never find out). But I confided with a high school friend (whom I grew up with) and she said there was no such thing as a secret marriage. So I backed out. Another reason I backed out was also because I was beginning to discover that he was telling me lies. Mostly about material stuff; having a sports car (which I later on found out from his cousin, who is also my best friend) that he never had his own car and that he only borrowed his father's car. He told me about a New York-based family business, which of coiurse, his cousin told me was a lie. I believe his cousin because I new her before I met him. She did not introduce us to each other, instead, I met him at a Drama Guild at the university. Most especially, I believe her because their families all live in a compound (a huge gated lot, where all their family, cousins, aunts, uncles, etc...all live. That means everyone knows each other's business). <br />
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So we broke up. Life went on. I moved to the US while he stayed in the Philippines. He got married, I got married. He got divorced, I got divorced. We kept in touch but I always got in his nerves because I would call him a "con-artist" everytime he said something I could not make myself believe. <br />
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20-years later, he contacts me again. That was 2 yeards ago. He calls at the most perfect time. I was mending a broken heart but decisive not to fall in love again. We start talking. He tells me his sad stories...about his daughter who was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer of the lymphnodes. Of course I fell for it. Stories and more stories. We had a lot of catching up to do. Needless to say, I fell in love with him again. Although I never forgot his lies, I trusted that after 20 years, he would have grown up and matured. At least that was the image he projected. <br />
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Although I was not looking for a rich life-partner, I trusted he made a name for himself or at least have made something of himself...well, because, it's been 20 years and also because that's what he said. He said he was successful.<br />
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Anyway, so I marry him. It's been a year and 11 months, a month shy from our 2nd year anniversary. We've separated because of a silly fight that got blown out of proportion. I'm glad it blew up because otherwise, I never would have spoken to his mom, sister and brother, (note that I am not close to any of his immediate familly) who all told me that everything he said he had, materially, were lies. I came to the conclusion that he only married me so he could get a Green Card, with a goal of eventually becoming a US Citizen, and then ultimately, be able to petition his daughter.<br />
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Oh, by the way, I also researched on cancer of lymphoma. She was only stage 2.<br />
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Lies, lies and more lies. What was I thinking? Once a liar, always a liar...but I got fooled----twice. Din't they say fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. Oh my gosh. Yes, shame on me! How could I fall for it twice? With the same man? In the same lifetime? Ultimate deception! <br />
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I withdrew my petition for his Green Card and it will be mailed tomorrow by my attorney. I will move on. But again, I keep asking...WHY?

aww thats a shame! how long were you guys married for? *_*<br />
i can relate to you though (maybe not so extreme) BUT i have a cousin who is JUST LIKE THAT she lies about absolutly crazy things that people KNOW is bs