Raised A Jehovah Witness. Left At Age Of 17 And At 22, Still Can't Move On.

First a little back story:

I was born in 1990. When my mother committed suicide when I was two, my grandparents (fathers side) adopted me since at the time my father could not support me. My grandmother had been a witness since 1975, and my grandfather just supported her, but was not one. Pretty much from then on, I was raised a witness. When I started school, that ment the usual. no making friends with the "wordly" kids. I couldn't do what other kids did in school when it came around to the holidays or clubs/sports in high school.

As I said above, growing up i never really had any friends expect maybe one or two who i rarely, if not at all talk to anymore as it was all about "preaching the good news about jehovah!" Every sunday, Tuesday and thrrusday I had to get dressed up and go to the meetings.

when I was 13 some kids were picking on me in my nighbhood. This guy who just moved in down the block with his mother and two sisters stood up for me, despite not knowing who i am. My grandmother was "happy" i made a friend, despite him being "wordly". my guess is, I never had any friends so making this one "wordly" one who stood up for me was "good enough. What ever.

After he moved out of state, I didnt really have any other friends. Even in high school. I mean there were a few I sorted of place my self in that group since we had the same class together but they were fine with it I guess...

still going to meetings at the time, I was 17 and just got tired of being controlled, not having any real friends or never really getting involved in high school as I was pretty much a looner. I was even told growing up not to become friends with girls as they could give you STDs.... (aparenty you can get a std by just talking?) So I quit going to meetings and got a job at mcdonalds and was there for almost a year and a half till I got on at target. As you can see I had no motivation to continue school and even now i don't...

After high school things pretty much stayed the same. No friends. No girlfriend. I was still living at home but not going to meetings. My grandmothers health got pretty bad till the point where she went on dialysis and passed away in July 2011. Her memorial of course was held at the kingdom hall.

In september 2011 I got on at walmart where I'm currently at. I work 40 hours a week 9 hours a night stocking shelves. Its a decent job and made a few "friends" there. I made one friend who was an actual friend. He and his girlfriend even took me out to the movies one time and were planing on some pretty nice things for the summer. though due to my lack of good social skills i ended up doing something stupid and ended up loosing that friendship. Its been five months and it still hurts as at the time things were looking up. Despite it being my fault (I even took the blame when I was writing a long apology letter to him) I still believe that if I wasn't raised a witness things would have been different growing up till now. my social skills would have been better. my self esteem would not be as low as it is now.

Today I just sit alone wondering if things would get better. if that right girl will come along or the day will come where I can wake up and everything would be alright. i know i would love to move up at walmart but I can't if I cant let go of the past and move forward and for a few years now I've been tring and still can';t......

i know it was long and ended up being more me not having any friends, but I figured this is my main issue with growing up as a witness. i was kept home and away from other kids my age and being in my early 20s when you should be having a time of your life is slipping by real fast. I'm going to be 23 in a couple of months...
CMH90 CMH90
26-30, M
3 Responses Dec 9, 2012

I was raised as a J-dub, and got out just about at your age. The best years of your life are in front of you. Try to take the good parts of your life and make them count.
My childhood might not have been what it should but , when I think about it, the Jehovah's Witnesses taught me public speaking, debate, advertising, patience, and non-violence. (Lately I use that patience when dealing with my Bible thumping JW relatives). I don't have any unwanted children and never tried really hard drugs.
Now, I'm not saying my JW childhood wasn't bad and they did hold me back throughout much of my life. But why focus on the bad?

Keep trying, things will get better. I was raised by paramilitary conspiracy theorists, so I pretty much had no friends and squat in the form of social skills too. Wasn't until I moved out and turned about 20/21ish that I started to catch up with other people my age. To this day I'm still learning things, but things have gotten a lot better. You can make it too, it just takes time.

As u have said u were a member of jehovahs witness. U want to be converted in a different religion that's what u want? So that u can have friends?