Too Stupid To Realize At The Time

One of the sad fact's of life it that somtime's it take's the threat of loosing somthing to wake you up. It took the new's that my father was going to die of cancer to really fully wake me up to my childhood. It was July of 1997 when we got the new's from the doctor and the family was all there at his bedside. I was numb when I left the hospital. How could my father have cancer ? He had never smoked or drank his entire life. He had done none of the thing's the say can cause cancer. In fact it was the oppisit. I was raised in a christian home. I never heard a saw this comming. I left the hospital that day with my mind being flooded in memorie's.

Over the next few week's I spent alot of time looking at old photo's, each one showed a time in mine and my father's life. They brought back thing's I had not thought of in year's. I went back in time to our first home in Rockville, Maryland. It was a modest little house with a long downhill driveway sitting on three acre's with nothing but mile's and mile's of wood's behind us to play in. We did not have running water and had to carry water in five gallon bucket's from a hand pump next door about two hundred yard's away. We heated water on the stove and bathed out of wash pan's. We hat that old wooden outhouse out in the backyard to go to the bathroom in.At night we had a five gallon bucket with a piece of plywood with a hole and toilet seat on top of the bucket to use. We called it suzy and it had to be emptied each morning. Our swimming pool was a 55 gal. drum placed under the rain gutter to catch water. We had a metal fort my dad and uncle built for us to play in up in the wood's. I never saw a TV until I was about 6 or 7 and back then it was all black and white. We did not have a sterio except the one mom and dad had and we were not allowed to touch it. We each had our own bike and we lived outside. Dad was a painter and had an old dodge panel truck that had running board's on the side's ade we would meet him at the top of the driveway and he would let us ride down the drive hanging onto the side and standing on those running board's. That was big time to us kid's.

We never had the best that money could buy, but we alway's had the best mom and dad's money could buy. We never went hungry. We alway's had cloth's and shoe's to wear. We alway's had a roof over our head's. But most of all we knew we were loved because mom and dad showed it and we never went a day that we did not hear it two or three time's. I was five year's old before I learned that my father's first name was not " Honey " I never once in all my life heard them call each other by name, It was alway's honey, sweetheart or a few pet nane's they had for each other. They had there disagreement's but never once did they argue in front of us kid's, not once. We said grace before a meal and said our prayer's each night. Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the lord my soul to keep, If I should die before I wake, I pray the lord my soul to take., I got my share of spanking's too, but we wont go there.

We were taught to say Thank you, Please, Yes sir and Yes ma'am. We were taught respect toward's other's. All of our family lived nearby so we were alway's having family get together's. We had dinner and then all us kid's played outside.But you know as we grew older we thought we were abused, we had to go to church. When all my friend's were outsids playing football , I was getting ready to go to church. We were pentecostal so we had alot of revival's to go to. somtime's the lasted two or three week's at a time and we wanted to play not go to church. We wer'nt allowed to dance or go to the movie's. We were not allowed to go to partie's or even take square dancing in school. Man we had it ruogh, or so we thought. It took the death of my father to realize how good a home we really had. It took loosing dad to really see him. To realize all the thing's my parent's gave of themselve's for us kid's. It took the death of my father to realize that half the children today would love to be in a home where they KNEW they were loved and protected. And yess I still go to church today. I made a few change's but my children were brought up mostly the same way, as are my grandchildren. Yes I had a great home but I am ashamed to say that it took the death of my father to realize it. Thank You Dad, I Love And Miss You !! I hope I have made you proud.
Robert1256 Robert1256
51-55, M
Jul 11, 2010