Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Was Raped!!

After I was legally separated I went out on my first date with a man that I knew for a year. He was my tae-kwon-do Master and he was also my children's instructor. I was at his studio 5 days a week for just little over a year. When he asked me out I was so excited as I not only admired him but I was also attracted to him. On a friday night we met up after his studio was closed for the night. We went out for dinner and was having a fabulous time. After dinner he invited me back to his apartment. I felt totally safe in going there as I felt I knew him well after spending 100's of hours in his studio. Once we got to his apartment he offered me a glass of wine that I accepted. He drank some other home made beverage and when I asked him what it was he told me it was his own concotion he created to help replenish his health after teaching for hours. We both enjoyed our drinks and then he turned on his music as loud as possible. It was blasting to the point where I asked him to turn it down because it was hurting my ears. He told me that he liked it at that volume. He asked me to dance and I accepted. After one dance he started kissing me. All of a sudden he became very aggressive and his kissing was starting to hurt. I asked him to stop and he said no. I started to feel scared, I was 5'3", 120 pounds and he was 5'10" PURE muscle. He grabbed me and forced me into his bedroom. He shoved me onto his bed and told me to take off my clothes. I said no and that I wanted to go home. He said I would go home when he was done. He ripped my top off, every button went flying. I tried to get up, I was crying and he shoved me back down onto the bed. I kept saying no and it was like he was possessed and didn't even hear me. The music was so loud that no one could hear my cries of help. I remember every single minute of the rape. He had a clock on his bedside table and when he wasn't violently kissing me I stared at the clock watching every minute go by. On three occassions I managed to get myself off his bed and every time I did he grabbed me and threw me back down. I felt like a feather in comparison to his strength. He had three black belts, had represented his country in 2 world championships and went to the Olympics. I finally realized that I didn't have a hope in hell of getting away from him. I continued crying and telling him no and continued to tell him that he was hurting me. He told me to perform oral sex on him and I refused. The clock kept ticking away. He started raping me at 12:02am and continued until 3:14am. It felt like a lifetime. When he finally finished he told me to go and clean myself up. Trembling and crying I managed to get myself to the bathroom. My head was exploding and I was scared to death, I wasn't sure if he would kill me. I was whimpering like a puppy that had been beaten near to death. I turned the light on in the bathroom, looked in the mirror and screamed when I saw my face. He had bitten through my lower lip and the blood was everywhere. I didn't recognize the person in the mirror, she was someone I had never met or seen before. He had violently kissed me and bit me for over three long hours that my lips were swollen beyond what I could ever imagine. I quickly splashed water on my face, grabbed my clothes, coat and keys to my car. I left my purse and shoes behind. I ran for the door crying hysterically and didn't stop running until I got to my car. Somehow, and I don't know how I managed to drive myself home while in complete shock. He got in his car and followed me back to my home. I don't remember how I got home but I do remember getting back to my neighbourhood and realized that I was completely lost trying to find my house while constantly watching him in my rear view window not knowing if he was going to crash my car. When I finally found my house, he was already parked in my driveway. I didn't know what to do. I ran out of my car and ran to my neighbours house. I banged on their door for what felt like hours but in reality was about a minute. They didn't hear me. I stared at their door screaming for them to let me in. They heard nothing. Not wanting to be outside with him in my driveway I took my chances, ran to my home, unlocked the door, got inside, locked the door and ran to my phone. I called my husband and told him I was just raped and that Felix was at my door. He told me to hang up and go to the couch and not open the door for anything. He told me he was calling the police and coming right over. He had to wake up our two young sons and get them in his car so he could get to me. I don't know what I did during that time, but my phone kept ringing and it was Felix calling from his cell phone. I finally heard the police sirens and heard his car screetching out of the driveway. The police got to my home before my husband and kids did. I was pretrified to open the door to the police so I didn't. When my husband got to the house he came running in with my 2 young sons and the police came in right behind him. My sons started crying as soon as they saw me. I kept telling them that I was ok. My husband took the boys up to their rooms was they calmed down a bit. While he quietly chatted with them to calm them down I had to tell the police every perverse detail of the rape. After what felt like hours they took me to the hospital to go through the rape kit. The male doctor kept talking to me but I don't remember anything he said. All I remember was crying quietly and being completely despondent. After the rape kit was done they gave me all the pills to take including the morning after pill. I told them I wouldn't be able to keep them down. They told me to do my best. I threw them up minutes after I swallowed them. After the rape kit was done and my clothes were taken from me they asked me if I wanted to press charges. I said no initially and about three minutes later I said yes. I'll complete this nightmare later, right now I feel drained.
AlwaysRemembers AlwaysRemembers 41-45, F 45 Responses Mar 31, 2007

Your Response

Cancel

I have trained in Martial Arts since I was 3 Years Old. Give me your TKD Instructor's name. He will be dealt with.


Thanks,


Bear

please tell us if u sent that bastard away or not. did he go to jail?

I feel sad for you. Soooo sorry

ok do u feel good about being a dumb ******* to people

Good luck to you for recovery. I hope you talk to all your near and dear ones - thats fastest way to heal.

Its very unusual for a woman who is invited to a mans apartment after a first date to accept. In general, only women who are very promiscuous do this. May I ask how many men you've slept with over your lifetime? When did you first lose your virginity?

What in the HELL is that kind of response aside from asinine. Don't patronize her with your opinion on what is promiscuous. Accepting an invite to continue a date that is going well is NOT an invitation to rape. There is a huge possibility of great conversation that doesn't want to end when you're getting to know someone. You're phishing for kinky information or just a misinformed, superior *** for touching fingertips to keyboard in this instance.

Well said. This is, after all, the 21st century, not 1950.

This is the 21st century, Have you done much dating? It doesn't seem like it, if you would make an observation like this. It isn't 1950 any more. And how many women have YOU slept with?

What the **** is wrong with you? She's sharing a so shocking story, and then you just write that ****?
"When did you first lose your virginity?"
1. It's a private thing.
2. Why the hell do you want to know?
3. **** off with stupid comments like that.

@AlwaysRemembers I really hope you're getting better and I feel so sorry for you! May peace be upon you.

21st century or 1st - you may NOT ask such questions! Your hinting has no logical backing. If a girl is promiscuous and consenting, the date can take her easily to bed, raping is still not acceptable and never will be.

If a young man has a lot of lovers, other men - and even women - think he's cool, and high five him, and women want to go out with him to see if they can "handle him." But if a young woman has a lot of lovers, she is considered a "*****." Even though we are in the 21st century, I doubt this attitude will change any time soon.

Yeah thats how it is and it is fair. Its ******* hard to be a stud. Its ******* easy to be a ****

Unconsensual sex is unconsensual and that is rape period. To question her after she had the courage to share her story is beyond disrespectful and rude. Put your personal feelings aside and only leave comments that help support the recovery and well being of this woman. There is NO excuse for rape. NEVER an excuse for someone to force their will upon someone else. Please choose your words and questions wisely. And ask yourself is that something you really needed to know. I flagged your comment. End your emotional violence.

5 More Responses

I feel really bad for you because you got raped, but you're married and you went on a date with another guy? You have kids! That's kind of setting a bad example.

Oh just realized you said you were separated. Sorry.

I see you noticed, thanks for noticing on your own and sorry I pounced!

After I was legally separated I went out on my first date. Assuming much? Did she say it was a day after she told her husband she wanted a separation? NO. I feel like a bully, policing the comments here, but with such a traumatic experience she is sharing and mentioned being drained from, does she really need to deal with these piddly, uninformed comments?

There are two sides to a story. Funny how some are OK with rape as long as it a man they don't like.According to some of the comments made. According to former Colorado state prosecutor, Craig Silverman, up to 45% of rape accusations could be fallacious. He went on to say that he was amazed by the amount of false rape accusations that are made by women. Why did you go to his apartment after dinner when you knew that what he wanted and had more alcohol.Making out is fun and rape is not having fun. Was this a game to get at your husband make him feel bad for you"locked the door and ran to my phone. I called my husband and told him I was just raped and that Felix was at my door." The first person you called was him and he came a running sound like love to me.

insensitive c*nt

What the HELL. See comment above to Crockwell1965. Are you just mad at some situation you're comparing this to in your life about being the one that loves your wife? She did NOT KNOW what he wanted? There are a lot of things he can want that are completely NOT rape! And yes, she may have been okay with making out if that is something that was offered. Maybe not too, nothing she did invited rape and it was NOT inappropriate to continue the date. She did NOT just want to make her husband jealous. I am assuming a LOT, I know, but it does not take more than common sense to read that in her story. A mentally unhealthy person would have more than likely focused their story a bit more about their husband if that was the case. People, please stop projecting your feelings and opinions on a victim of rape because YOU'RE angry with some situation in your life or how you were treated by a woman.

Oh please just stop, you are just as bad as all the other people who victim blame. She did NOTHING wrong. If she doesn't consent, it's rape. Doesn't matter what else happened.

So sorry to read about your experience... May god bless you n give all the strength..

To all the morons saying stuff like "do you and your husband normally go on dates with other people" and saying she deserved it because she was married - READ THE FIRST TWO LINES. She CLEARLY SAYS AFTER SHE WAS LEGALLY SEPARATED. Learn to read.
This was posted a long time ago, but I hope you're doing well and I hope you know you helped a lot of people get the nerve to share their experiences. :)

Rape and sexual assault is not confined to female victims. When I was in my twenties, I ran and worked out a lot, and I had a nice tanned body. I went to a nearby club after the gym with some friends. They left and I stayed, and I started talking to these three big, buffed-up guys, who were also gym rats. One of them suggested we buy some weed, and I said "sure. "So I got in their car, but we would up in a remote industrial area behind an abandoned factory. It was a four door sedan, and I was sitting behind the driver, who parked right next to a wall, so I could not open my door. I realized I was in serious trouble. The guy next to me told me whipped out a big knife, and told me to take off my shorts and my underpants. We were who knows how many miles from my car, I did not really even know were we were, nowhere near a bus line or stores or any place where I could get help, and I couldn't get out of the car. It was getting very cold, and all I had on was gym shorts and a t-shirt. So anyway, I wound having to suck off all three of them. They each got in the back seat one at a time. I was lucky I didn't knifed, beaten, gang raped, and left there naked. (I'm pretty big, but these guys were huge.) They did buy some weed, and they gave me some. They were all laughing, and saying; "We knew you wanted some ****, showing off your *** in those gym shorts and a t-shirt, you're a little (And I have a 46" chest and 16" arms, so I'm not "little!") ****, you know you really wanted a some ****", and on and on. At that time, I had a job where being gay was tolerated, but I could have been fired for possessing weed! It gets worse: One of the three guys who raped me (Sex by force or threat of force is rape) knew one of my friends, and told him that I offered to suck off all three of them for some weed. So it got really ugly - I had to move, change my phone, e-mail, I lost those "friends" who cut me loose, and I ultimately had to change jobs because I could not risk having a drug related dismissal on my record. (That was a huge plus; I got a better job, which did not interfere with my personal freedom at all!) Some "friends" were like; "You should have run away, are you sure it wasn't a sexual adventure and you just got cold feet?, you should have fought if you didn't want to do it, etc." Yes, I am bisexual, but I had a crewcut, muscles, etc, and I did not look gay in the least. And for men who "look" gay, so what? Just because you we're left bleeding and with broken bones does not mean you were not raped. Good luck and God bless!

So sorry this happened to you!

Thank you for your support. I have worked my way through it and I'm fine now. More disturbing than the crime itself was the reaction of "friends", who tried to blame me ("You were wearing shorts, you went with them willingly, you've been with men before") for the violence committed against me.

How did you deal with those "friends" who tried to blame you? Because I am going through that right now and it is extremely painful. I don't have time to educate people when I am working to heal.

I didn't feel the need to "educate" people about an experience that could have left me badly injured, or cost me my life. It just showed me how people run from anything that challenges well-defined gender roles. Because I was well built and athletic when it happened, people made assumptions like, "Oh, you could have fought them off", or "You wanted a sexual adventure and it got out of hand." I had to recover alone, and wile I am over it, that was very painful. Even many gay men at "support groups" snickered, or smirked at my experience, and without even saying a word, conveyed the impression of, "Well, you got in over your head, be more careful next time."

Thank you for having the courage to share your story. I understand the whole "friends" asking questions searching for blame in you or something and it sucks. I am glad the change of job worked better for you. Peace be with you. ♥

2 More Responses

rape is a word which, when heard by me makes me tremble,, i still cannot go through with this

That was a nasty experience. I hope ull be strong enough to overcome it

What is the update on this swine who was in a position of trust?

You are so brave to press charges against your rapist - don't be intimidated. If he did this to you, he has done it before - you can bet on this. I was once in a relationship with a guy who was much bigger than me. I'm no powder puff (46" chest, 16" arms), but this guy was big, and very handsome too. I did not realize it at the time, but part of the reason I became his BF (My first same sex relationship) was that I feared what might happen if I rejected him, or refused him sex. He was very handsome, and I had not been out long, and we got invited to a lot of stuff, so I learned all about "the scene", and I rationalized that this was good for me, even though people were snickering that I was his latest "*****." (I was very low on self-esteem at this time) I insisted on safe sex, and long after the relationship ended, somebody observed that I was lucky he didn't give me a beating for wanting safe sex. Men are not supposed to have issues like this because it shows weakness, and I have really suppressed it for a long time, and only now am I dealing with it.

OMG! that sounds horrible! how are you now?

I'm fine now. I did a lot of therapy and self-help, and I got away from being abused in all my relationships, and things are so much better for me now.

well thats good then :) if you ever need someone to talk to, i'm here <3

I went out with my karate instructor 25 years ago. He took me for one meal and the next time he asked me to buy him a takeaway. THEN he told me I was going with his friend that night. B.......
Hope you recover. hugs to you

This is terrible, I don't believe in the death penalty but I do hope the guy gets life in prison (I know he won't though...probably likely looking at 5 years, 8 if he's unlucky). Be careful around people, I once had a couple (man and woman) invite me over to some club to hang out, the woman was very aggressive and possessive with me verbally, I wisely said no and went home. I haven't gone to clubs since...I'm very protective of myself...no I was not raped but there are many potential rapists in the world and I have caught glimpses of their personalities...enough to terrify me. I now practice boxing, do weightlifting and cardio...all to keep in shape...I also gave up alcohol...I need to be in control of myself and aware of my surroundings.

Good luck with the recovery...I hope you have some trustworthy family/friends to cry with. Very brave of you to call the police. I hope they caught up with this guy and I hope he resisted and got shot by the police.

good on you, I am so sorry for what happen to you, I hope he dies in prison.

# 1 Kicking *** and taking names 101

so amazing to hear a woman actually call the police! > : D

"I didn't recognize the person in the mirror, she was someone I had never met or seen before."very sad....<br />
<br />
I hate to say this, but why did you meet a man you were "attracted to" and "respected" for an evening dinner and then go to his house for DRINKS if you were MARRIED ALREADY?<br />
<br />
: / <br />
<br />
my boyfriend would lose his crackers if i did that. <br />
<br />
you really set yourself up for this one, not that any lady deserves that...

Seriously? **** you. Infidelity, flirting, etc. is not "setting yourself up for" rape. I can't even find the words. Other than seriously, **** you. Think before you post this **** that a rape victim will read.

Fake

Thank you for sharing, you are a strong lady.

Words fail me...

you are strong your kids must be proud take care of them

i know how u feel. i was raped when i was 12 (15 now) but i wasnt hurt as much i was only whacked and slapped. i was scared as well but i never told anyone. i kept it to myself but today i told my mum. i am still scared as this guy lives around the corner from me. if he finds out i told he will hurt me. but i couldnt handle it. its good u told someone. did he get charged and go to prison? i hope so the sick disgusting purvet.

Sick bastard!

What a horrible experience. I can't imagine... Would you be willing to share some of your thoughts and feelings for the book research I discussed in this story group?

Yikes!
You can't trust anyone these days

That is the most terrible story I have ever heard! I can't even imagine going through something as scary as that! You are a hero!

Your story is horrible. I was also raped by my experience was nothing compared to yours. I cannot imagine what you went through. I just want you to know that I like you're a very strong woman and your story makes me realize my situation could have been much worse. Thank you for sharing your experience and I hope you have a wonderful life ahead of you. Goodluck!