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I Was Raped By My Father

He started molesting me at 2 or 3 years old .He slowly groomed me and trained me by terrorizing me into thinking he would kill my mother and brothers .If I didn't let him he beat all of us black an blue .At the age of 5 I told my older brother who was 11 what was going on but he told mom and I was whipped with a belt .Then my brother took a turn why not mom lets dad so he can to . when my parents seperated mom took my baby sister who was 3 I stayed with him because I knew I was going to be 18 soon and I thought I was protecting my sister and mom . I was told if I leave with her he'd kill us all but according to my family it was untrue they will do anything to cover their own ***** .Needless to say I don't have anything to do with my family .They  have to live with the guilt and I am fine I have a great sex life and I trust my husband especially since he has stood by me for many years and never gets scared when I start talking about cutting child molesters balls off .By the way  i gave up the child for adoption to a beautiful family she is mentally retarded and I sent my father to prison, in time I found out he was seriously mentally ill almost insane  there was no excuse for my mom except she was a coward and chose to use a small child to protect her . I got away one night by bashing his head with a bat damn  near killed him but I caught him passed out and took advantage of the situation I was 17 . I have no problem accepting my past I did it for my sister .I would love to see women who are married to these sobs get charged for letting their children be hurt there is no excuse you can get help now it's not like it was in the 70s .

rcrisp rcrisp 36-40, F 40 Responses Jun 4, 2007

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I have a cousin who finially made her First Holy Communion when she was 15.She was in the class with the 7 year olds and had to wear the full required 1st communion outfit just like the little girls had to wear-a white,poofy,top of the knees dress and veil,lace anklets and white patent leather shoes and under her dress she had to wear a cloth diaper and plastic pants with a tee shirt.After her party,her uncle took her to his house to show her some kittens that his cat had a couple months earlier and he told her how cute she looked,then started kissing her,then forcibly unzipped her communion dress and pulled it off of her,then forced her to her knees and brutally mouth raped her for over an hour,while she was just in her veil,tee shirt and the diaper and plastic pants.He came in her mouth several times during the hour and forced her to swallow his ***.After hes was done with her he took her back home and dropped her off and took off and went to a wooded area and committed suicide.

I am so very sorry this had to happen to you dear. Please seek out counseling you don't have to be a prisoner of that mess your whole life. The key is pick a therapist you click with dear. Don't be afraid to change if you have to. It is not expected you would be comfortable with everyone. But if you don't have one you can work with it will not help

I understand having to stand against your own family. I hope one day you are able to understand that maybe your family didn't know what to do. I didn't even tell my mother (They were already divorced) and when her second husband started molesting me, I didn't tell her then either.

No matter what, if a mother know her child is being abused by anyone, let alone her husband and THEIR father, she reports it to the police and removes the child from that situation. There is no excuse of "didn't know what to do," that's called being an adult who is so cowardly they would allow a little kid to harmed in the worst way possible rather than protect them, which as a parent is your number one responsibility. Again, there is no excuse, I don't care who you are or what your situation is.

ths really brave of u to stand up for ur dad, srry to hear u had to go through such times.

And To All You Who Say Its A Lie No Its Not A Dad Can Do That ****. I Never Did Anything For My Dad To Molest Me. He Tried Having Sex Me With Me But He Got Mad Cause I Would Tell Him No. And move Around My Mom Was Always At Work. I Was 5 During Summer. Im 15 Now And He Still Tries When I Had My Period He Asked Me If I Was And I disnt Respond. My Parents Are In Progress Of Divorce But He Still Comes To See My sister. I Dont Talk To Him Or Want Nothing To Do With Him. I Hate Him.

My Dads Been Molesting Me Since I Was 5

I am 13 and being raped

suffering in silence makes u no better thn the offender

This is what Im going through. It started for me really young. But I thought I was crazy and making it up. The more I get older, the more I understand and I wish I didnt. I aborted my brothers baby. Im glad that you are ok

Finally someone with a rape story that sounds true. Its a shame you didn't kill, but congrats on making it out. By the way, in a recent case, a mother that let her boyfriend rape her child got life in prison, the boyfriend got 49 years. Its probably the only good thing about the USA, its not a country run by pedophiles and rapists, unlike Canada for example.

that was not nice

i am the same way, my step father molested and raped me and my mother knew. i put him away. know that you are strong, people like us had no support, we had to live in situations that were beyond our control and we survived. know that you are strong, and yes id like to cut off more than just their balls.

I don't know what to do.. My step father molested me from the time I was 7. Then this last year, he started raping me.... I have a younger brother and my mother. My mother knows about everything but the rape, yet she has never told anyone. She tells me that I will cause our family to be tor apart if I tell anyone... I'm tired of being hurt... I tried commiting suicide this last month but I failed.. Just like everything else, I failed... Please help me, someone....

she is lying, thats the same lie they told me, take your best friend go to the police and tell them everything, tell them about him your attempted suicide tell them about your mother do it right after he's raped you so they can prove it. if they have a rape kit they can put him away for good and you can live a better life

Please tell it to someone who can help you, he has to be punished for what he is doing to you.

I was sold and raped.<br />
<br />
At the age of 15 I was walking down my street when a van pulled up and two men came out and dragged me in to the van. My ankles, arms had been tied they put something over my mouth so that I couldn't talk and drove me to some place. I was pulled out of the van and into this house. It was dark and smelled horrible, there were cobwebs everywhere it looked like a really dirty place.. They took me in a room and looked me in there for days with a chamber pot under the bed to use if I needed to, and just coming up to give me food. I thought they were going to kill me. After what seemed like years they took meh out, from what I could see when I looked out the window, it was night. I was put back in the van and taken to a ship where they then took me to Paris. I was sold there and was raped by a number of men. It hurt like hell I just wished I could die. I escaped after a year with a guy that fell in love with me. I am still with him now he has supported me alot and helped me I will always be grateful to him. I will never be able to forget what happened to me, Evan after 7 years I still get flashbacks.

i get flashbacks to and still fill its my falt but i no its not my falt im geting help with coserling now

wowo ur really strong and am happy that u dont have to deal with that pain <br />

I was by raped my stepfather at the age of 12 or 13 .When I told my mom she told me that I was a f***ing lier and to lock myself in my room .His son also had his way with me when I was young. The rape started back when I was about 6 or 7 from smeone I i grow up with and never thought it would happen . Then when I was put in a forster home they had another girl staying with them who made me put my whole arm inside of her . That was frighting back then , I'm now 39 and sometimes I sill think about what happened . When I started to date other men at frist I would be scared to let them into my life , but now i'm fine and living a better life . I have a wonderful son who makes me live for who I am now.

yeah i was raped by my father so many times that I lost count. they say to put him in jail. the statute of limitations is up. it happened from the time I was five until i was 16. wow. now i'm 25 whoo hoo. 9 years without being raped by him. but i still have no life. i hide away. for some reason i'm convinced that everyone can see it. he's in a local band. i feel like i can't make a name for myself without people likening me to him. i say freely what happened. but alas i could not get any support from my mother or from my sister when I wanted to hold him legally accountable. on my 23rd birthday i cried and i cried and i cried; that was the year that the statute of limitations ran out. my mother had caught him molesting my sister red handed. she did nothing. NOTHING. she still treats my sister poorly to this day. i was the good child. i believe that my mother groomed me for the abuse as much as my father did... i'm waiting for them to die so that i can enjoy life. my mother's house is where i live now. you can't tell her anything. she knows everything. it's sick. she's trying to take custody of my nephews. she's so sick. the Department of Children and Families is on her side... She has destroyed my sister and yet may have control over my sister's children... with the blessing of the state of florida. i've no money to go anywhere else. i guess i should start stripping. *********** is good money.everythin else her esucks. this is a man's state. i feel like i cannot win. i hate it. i wish i could just get money to run away and change my name. become a new person.... Hecate make me Aikos.

Yes, I was repeatedly raped/molested by an uncle and two of his buddies over the course of 3 years, Their idea of fun was to bound and gag me and then "turn me into a woman", using anything at their disposal. One of them started grooming me, training me to do certain things, certain ways, I'm still messed up some by what happened to me. I was also raped by a boyfriend and a friend later on in life. I do pretty good now, but I tell people you don't jump me when you're feeling froggy...I will snap your sh*! off...because let me tell you, I'm not scared of anything but failure these days. Thanks for your story, guess I needed to vent huh, hope things go well hon for you. I have great life now. God bless

Thank you.<br />
I'm getting out soon, and taking my little sister with me. I made sure she was safe and he didn't get her for six years, and now I'm 18, and I'm getting out, telling the cops, and adopting my little sister.<br />
<br />
I have old panties from when he hurt me in ziplock bags, I have dates, I have evidence. I will but this monster in jail. I'd love to put my drunk mother with him, but either way I won't see her sorry, drunk *** ever again. <br />
<br />
I've worked since I was 14, and minus the money for baby sitters for my sister (He was NEVER alone with her. EVER), and what I'm going to have to spend on lawyers, I hope to have enough to get us a nice apartment, and some furniture and stuff.<br />
<br />
We're going to be happy.

For all those of you who are still suffering abuse i just want to let you know that you CAN tell someone; you're NOT in the wrong. <br />
<br />
If you can run away, go to a shelter, tell an adult you trust do it. There ARE people out there who DO care and you deserve that safety! look for counciling or legal help if you can, if not tell a close friend, avoid drugs and sex; at least until you are safe and emotionally stable because these just lead to more trouble and leave you open to exploitation. <br />
<br />
Please please don't give up, things get better. first the fear vainishes when you're no longer around that person, then you have other experiences and realise that there is so much more to the world; then you grow and mature and discover (often through trial and error) what you want out of life.<br />
<br />
life has its hilarious and beautiful moments too - and its excing ones. please DON'T give up - as the dalai lama says 'no pain lasts forever'. rape survivors have done nothing wrong - you are just that 'survivors'! <br />
<br />
okay... that may come with a little bit harder an edge than most people, but surviors are also insightful and strong.<br />
<br />
peace, blessings and courage. hang in there!<br />
<br />
xxoxoxo<br />
<br />
p.s. i know i just posted a request for help myself and hardly seem the person to be giving advise but i just read some extra stories and felt obliged to comment. mine is more a long term repair. i am commenting on those who are in a current situation.

I am pretty sure I was molested by my father or another close male relative when I was an infant or small child. I always felt guilty, unloved and like a burden on my family, never had a healthy sex life growing (meaning it was non existant) until twenty. Then I moved to another country and started a new life but I continually jumped from relationship to relationship and kept my friends at an arms length because I couldn't trust anyone. My sister also did the same thing; moved to another country and I think its more than a coincidence that we both left.<br />
<br />
When I was in primary school i got bullied and my mother use to blame me for not fitting in. so i felt like bullying was a normal way for people to relate to me and i had to just put up with it. When i was in my final year of high school I ran away from home several times and seeing my father use to make me feel uneasy - for this reason i use to slam my dinner down each evening as sitting at the table was so uncomfortable. when i was living away from home i got an emotional recall one night and it was sheer terror and repulsion around my father; i never probed this as my mother didn't seem to want to talk about it when i went home and told her and i saw a counciler but couldn't talk about it as my mother stood outside the door listening so i never felt comfortable.<br />
<br />
I felt guilty for years after telling her - thinking i was a home wrecker until my sister told me that she had similar memories. My parents still refuse to talk about it and i repress it so much that i have extreme anxiety, paranoia and lack of trust. It ruins my friendships, it ruins my relationships, it ruins how i feel about myself sexually and spiritually. I have, until now, channeled it all into artistic projects - performing, drawing and writing - all of which i know i have a lot of talent in (i know modesty is a virtue but my ego makes up for my insecurities so art came to replace love for me; it sounds wanky but i swear its true)- but lately i have started to believe that that is not healthy. because it wont bring me peace of mind; all that will bring me peace of mind is being able to trust and love another human being.<br />
<br />
Nothing beats the intimacy of a close physical relationship and until now i have not been able to have one. i only seem to fall head over heals for smart, charming men that have absolutely no interest in me, or i hook up with men who treat me like shite but are areattracted to me, where they **** me but treat me sadistically - ie. i have no power or respect. I want to be with someone who i respect, who respects me and both be attracted to one another. does this ever happen?<br />
<br />
I know this is a rant but i am single, young, alone, in a foreign country and have no where else to turn. Can someone recommend what I should do? My sister distinctly remembers an abuse incident so i know i am not crazy,<br />
<br />

You people are heros i myself have never beeen raped but my mom was raped by her dad and she is a strong women now

You people are heros i myself have never beeen raped but my mom was raped by her dad and she is a strong women now

You people are heros i myself have never beeen raped but my mom was raped by her dad and she is a strong women now

this goes for your stuped *** of you **** you fuken gay person ***** *** niggas tell me that obama is raping you haha **** offf

hahahah dont fuking pray you stupid ppl you guys like getting ****** from el culo todos chingen a su puta madre perro lambe culos maricones f...k you gay as ppl

yu people are ****** matherfuking ***** talking about how someone rape you you know you like when ur daddy repes you you even ask him to do it stupid ppl go tell your daddy to put his **** on your *** adn **** off ******

You need to understand that some people were young. Some people didn't know. Some can't fight back. Before you comment on something, see it from other people's view. Think about how many people you will upset. I don't know what these people went through, and chances are you don't either. What you said was rude, and on this website, people are supposed to understand. You shouldn't judge. This is why some people don't speak up.

you people are ****** gay *** people

you people are ****** gay *** people

I pray for all you survivors. These child abusers are demonic. They are being controlled by demons. This is the reason they hurt innocent children. You must be brave enough to do something so this evil will end. Be brave enought to talk with a school couselor, teacher, or you may just call 911. Tell the operator what has been going on and when it all started. Please don't be ashame or afraid because you are not alone. You have to do something to put an end to this torture and abuse. I wil pray for you all each and every day. These demons who hurt you will one day have to face Jesus on judgement day. These deomonice people will all be burnt up one day. But for now you have to do something to stop the abuser from hurting you. May God give you strenght and courage to do what you have to do. Be strong and brave no matter what.

GREAT STORY BUT HE is such a ****

Hello to you all brave souls:<br />
I was wondering if any of you out there who was raped as a child would be willing to help me. I am conducting a study about the physical effects of childhood rape.<br />
I was myself raped when I was three years old by my father. <br />
What I need to know is if you suffer from any of the following symptoms:<br />
<br />
muscle tightness<br />
hereditary spastic paraplegia<br />
fybromyalgia symptoms<br />
spasticity<br />
short muscles (shoulders, fingers, feet, toes and middle front stomach muscles and side muscles)<br />
pain or numbnes in muscles<br />
tight stomach<br />
painful periods (if female)<br />
Multiple sclerosis symptoms<br />
chemical sentitivity<br />
digestive problems<br />
insomnia<br />
tight legs<br />
tight buttocks<br />
large and hard thighs<br />
calf pain<br />
ankle pain<br />
problems walking<br />
(other _________ fill your own)<br />
<br />
Thanks in advance for your help.<br />
Blessings to all~

Thank you all. This story belongs to me. Salam to all, i am Muslims boy born in Syed (Sunni) family. when i was a child Allah has gifted me a hegemon powers where all the others Muslims old age trying to get, I have the ability to do anything, but this thing hatred by especially by my father, mother and my elder brother. I was the one in my whole family means my mother's family and my father's family, who gifted to me such a powers by Allah. When I was in the age of 10 my father and his friends rape me when I was deep sleep, than after two days my father **** me with my elder brother and my mother raped me. I don't forget that painfull sceane that i suffered. I lost my feelings and my thinking, sometimes i much scared of these things, sometimes i don't sleep two to three days because of scareness, still my father **** me and raped badly, i don't know where i go, to sucide or kill my self, i cannot do anything because they are power full. <br />
Now i am 23 years old, but still i have been raping by my father and i don't know where it ends.... i just pray to Allah, " Ya Allah, Please take away me from this hell". I have one of the biggest bad luck, I have short memmory and no feelings and my father forced me do work hard and many many thing to giving me more tensions. Some day i will kill my self If Allah don't stop it.<br />
regards..<br />
8th April, 2010

Thank you for posting this...I've also went through "hell" as a child. I have yet to set up a date to confront the "foster mother"...i believe she knew...and boy, i have a lot to say to her, i may slap her face like she did me when I was only 7 years old!!...she and him ruined my life!!!!!!!! He's now in prison. I told child services when i was about 15 and was put in a mental hospital because i was trying to kill myself. I realize what he did to me (horrific!) and said something. The authorities finally picked him up when I turned 18...locked up! While the foster mother wanted me to pay the house note, because she couldn't. Since he wasn't around, we would lose our house. And since I couldn't pay, she kicked me out and blamed me for him being in there....I'm now 25 and ******* sitting here and looking back, having to deal with all this bull **** and problems in my life...and where does all of this anger and bitterness come from??? Those child abusers!!! I wish they were never in my life! I mean, if you saw how I looked, like child model, and them...literally like monsters...i mean, how can someone do that to a child! I'm ******* pissed!!!!

Amen! <br />
i look at things like this as a testimony. . i know im late. <br />
but you went through that to teach people/young people. <br />
you are blessed because you came out fine, most people cant go thourgh it. <br />
i am so young but understand what goes on in the world. you taught me a lot from this story. <br />
<br />
you are blessed

Kas123, I don't know if it'll help, but I have a hidden camera you could borrow if you want. You'd need a neighbor who you trust, who has a VCR recorder. And you'd need a place to put the camera in your room (I'm going to hide it in a stand-up picture fr<x>ame). I can't promise it'll catch him, but it's better than nothing. Email me at if you're interested; put "Camera" as the email subject. If you're too scared to send me your address, you could email me or post a friend's address here, and I will send it to them.

kas123, you've got to tell someone. You've got to tell a teacher at your school, or the school nurse, or if your school has a councilor, a school psychiatrist. You can go into any hospital or doctor's office even without insurance and just tell the recpetionist or if not that, the doctor what is up. There are planned parenthoods which are FREE and they will protect you. You can contact child protective services.

You are a hero.

I'm scared I don't know what to do i'm all alone my mom doesn't believe me i'm 13 and my dad rapes me the last time he did rape me was December 10 and im scared can someone please help me I cant stand to be here any more i cant stand looking at him, im me..

omg u have to tell someone it could get worse tell a neaghbour or anyone god even i fell scared now

hi Kas,
I only came to read your message by this time... I hope it all stopped by now...

omy, what a survivor you are. I think all those kind of creeps need their ***** chopped off. There is NO EXCUSE for that. Glad you put him in jail!

I can't agree with you more!! My father and brother both sexually abused me from the time of 3 to 18 when i finally left. I left my family the first time for 5 years until my father finally confessed and than due to more **** left recently for GOOD. My father is dying and i know when he finally passes i will have so MANY mixed emotions that i am almost anticipating a nervous breakdown. Even though my father completely confessed my mother still REFUSES to believe it happened. I'm not sure who i hate more!! My father will soon have to account for his sins, and most likely will burn in hell. It totally ****** me off when phedophiles, when rarely convicted, often spend less time in jail, than someone who passes of fraudulent checks!! It is amazing to me that our mother's passively allow this **** to occur. I am amzed that you got him behind bars, that is BEYOND brave of you, i never had the guts to press charges. Congratulations on your strength, you are a real inspiration to me!!