I Saw Him Again

When I was 15, my mother's boyfriend started molesting me. I would often wake up to find him already on top of me, and he would just tell me to go to sleep. Whenever my mother was out for any sizeable chunk of time and I was home, he would have sex with me. I never said no, because I was scared of him and of what would happen if he told my mother, and I never ever said yes.

The night of my high school graduation I told my mother I wanted to move out of state and it started a huge fight. She accused me of wanting to escape her. I told her about what Thomas had been doing. She flipped out, accused me of being a **** and a homewrecker, and I ran out of the house. I stayed in the woods by my house and stayed by the river until the sun started to go down. When I was walking back, I saw Thomas looking for me. He ran after me, and pushed me to the ground. He ripped my dress and tore my underwear straight off me and hit me when I struggled, and raped me. He choked me when I screamed, with his arm, with his hands, with part of my dress. He pulled me by my hair and hit me, and when he finished he collapsed on top of me, so heavy I thought I would suffocate. He got up and told me to come home because my mother was pissed off. I used the torn piece of my dress to clean up and walked back home. When I got back he was screaming at my mother about what a **** I was, and how she was a piece of **** mother, and that if she put out more often he wouldn't have to **** me. I wanted to take a shower, but Thomas screamed at me when I tried to go to the bathroom and said I didn't deserve a shower. I locked myself in my room and waited until they both went to bed, and I packed some of my most important things, and walked to the Greyhound Station, and left.

I ran away that night to get away from him, but my mother didn't leave him for almost 2 years, and was even engaged to him. I was happily living in Seattle for about 5 years until I had to go back to take care of my mother. She passed away Tuesday. Last Friday, there is a knock at the door. I opened the door but left the screen locked, and Thomas was standing there with a cheap bouquet of white flowers. I didn't know what to do. He told me he was sorry about my mother and asked for me to open the door so he could give me these flowers. I told him he could leave them on the porch. He said some nice things about my mother and me. He asked to come in, and I said no. He told me he wished me the best and went to his truck. I locked the door behind me and watched him from the window. He sat out there for about 10 minutes then he left. I cried and cried and cried. I missed my mom, and I didn't feel safe, and I was facing all these emotions I hadn't dealt with in years.
cosmicspeck cosmicspeck
22-25, F
1 Response May 6, 2012

really sad .. and appreciation for you to stay away from that evil guy