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My Friend Changed My Life

Hi My name is Star I am 13 years old. i heard about this group Tow weeks ago and i think i can tell you my painful Nighmier of what happend too me . It was november 19 2011 Me and my Friend Walked home from school together becuase we live next too eachother and we always Walked in a alllyway fora shortcut thats like 10 minutes away from our street . but one day he was acting starge . he was saying how he wants too love me like noone will ever love me i told him to stop talking like that . he just kept touching me all over the place and i kept pushing his arms away and he said come on it will be fun. and i slapped him in the face and when he tureend his face to me he looked really pissed off . he grabbed me and pushed me down . and he pinned my arms down. i tried to get him off of me but he was slapping me over and over untill i stoped fighting . and i had no choice but to stop. so i screamed he kept tell me too shut up before i make it hurt even more i kept crying i said too him pleas stop pleas and he just kept smileing he kept kissing me i bit his lip so i could get away but it did not work . he forced his penis into my vagina and it really hurt. i was crying becuase it hurt so badly he just kept luaghing . and when he was done he told me to get up and lets just walk home. i was crying the whole way home. i did not walk with him i walked the other way. when i got home i did not say anything to my mom i ran into my room and started crying and started to cut myself it wwas the worst thing that ever happend too me anyways thanks for reading my story can you commentt anything to make me feel better
starbar101 starbar101 13-15, F 17 Responses Apr 27, 2012

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Star,
I'm sorry to hear about this. Please understand that what happened was all about his behavior and was not in any way caused by you. Sex offenders enjoy power & control; the actual act is not really about the sex. You are a victim, but you can now choose to move forward without letting this horrible experience define you negatively. Be strong and don't carry hate for yourself or even your former friend. Pity him and try to forgive him while loving yourself! Good luck.

wow please please tell someone.. it'll get better from there, it's the best way!

U have to tell some one in order to get through this

Find someone and tell someone. It may not be your parents but someone close to you. I know it seems best not to talk about it but believe me when i say this if you keep it buried in your heart it will tear you apart

You should tell someone if you haven't. I know what it's like to be betrayed by a friend. Comment me if you ever need to talk.

sorry you had to go through this.

re u still friends with him.

I hope your not friends with him anymore and when u got free u should have punched him

Wow...I'm deeply saddened to hear this....Please don't ever blame yourself for this...Not all boys are like him. He likely had control issues and chose to deal with them in the worst of ways. You are never to be used but instead cherished by boys, you are a beautiful person and don't ever let anyone take that away from you. This act of evil he committed against you was not your fault in any way shape or form. Please do not ever attempt to harm yourself for his actions. You are the victim in this crime. Over time you must learn to trust boys again... as hard as it may seem. Do not seek control over your life or those you care about. Most importantly tell your loved ones what happened so they may support you emotionally and get you some help so it won't effect you so much later in life. I personally am male but my mother was raped and I know it effects her till this very day because she never got help. Don't be ashamed or scared, everyone needs help sometimes.

I am sorry for the brutal experience you have had and going through.

Pls talk to some one whom u can trust it will help you. Never think of killing yourself as there will be a lot of people who love you,care about you and help you. you are precious little girl. We love you

add me, if you can maybe i could share some of my stories with you and they will help

Tell someone though that is something you NEED to do and don't cut please cutting kills.... My friend proved that.

I'm sorry you had to experience that :/ he's not the best of the guys out there I myself have never been raped but i have a few friends who have and a few who were almost raped. it ALWAYS sucks to hear stories about this and im soo sorry it happened to you

Star,

Please know that my thoughts are with you. I take meds for my rape. Namely cymbalta and ambien. It happened on my birthday, so now I don't even like to celebrate. Know that there are other girls out there, going through what you've been through. Rape. I'm glad you can share your story. That takes great inner strength. A strength you will need when talking to a counselor. You need to talk with a professional. They don't judge, they will believe you, and want nothing more than to get you feeling better. Maybe you won't like the first or second counselor. But keep searching for and talking to counselors until you find one that you connect with. Dont give up honey. And please don't cut yourself anymore. You are beautiful and as you grow older the visibility of any scars from cutting will only remind you of a time you don't wish to reflect upon. I watch a lot of Law and Order: SVU. This helps me deal with my rape. Hearing hypothetical stories of other people allowed me to feel connected to the world again. That and yoga (just YouTube yoga for beginners if you want). Good luck honey. Hoped I helped a bit.

I was raped by my friend to but my friend was a girl

Starbar, I was molested at the age of 8 by an X-brother-in-law. I didn't tell anyone either. He made me feel like my family would hate me if I did. So I didn't until I was much older. That was a mistake. Tell someone! And get counselling. If I had, my life would have been much better, but instead I suffered for many years alone with it and it affected my life as well as my children's. I since have been through therapy and it has been very helpful. Tell someone Star. Don't hide this inside your whole life like I did. Get to a counsellor at your school if you feel you cannot talk to your parents. Believe me, you do not want to suffer with this your whole life as I did. It will effect your life negatively in far too many ways if you do. Get help!

im sorry for what happened. i can kind of relate to your story. talk to a person you trust and tell them how you feel and somehow they will help you. just know that i love you and so does everybody else.