Sort Of

I am also in the group of people who aren't sure if they have been raped or not.
I was kinda stupid. I was online looking for people who like to spank other people. I know it's weird, but I like to be spanked. I met this guy, Sam, online and we chatted for a while, before he asked to come over. He said he was new to the area and just looking for friends and wanted to know if I knew of any thing to do in the area. I told him no, but we could hang out if he wanted. We agreed that he could visit me while my roommate was away. He came over and seemed really shy. We just talked for a little bit, but then he tried to kiss me. I was really blown away by his boldness. I let him anyway. Of course, once you let someone kiss you, you embark on a very slippery slope. Long story short, he spent the night and the next time we got together, he convinced me to go to his apartment and have sex. That part was consensual, but it was my first time and it hurt....A LOT! I told him that I couldn't handle it and that I wanted him to stop, but he said that I had to push through the pain, and he held me so that I wouldn't get up. Did I get raped? I don't feel emotionally traumatized by it, but my friend told me that I was raped and that I need to get help. What do you think?
Wynn42 Wynn42
22-25, F
1 Response Nov 26, 2012

The thing about consent it has to be instantaneous and can be revoked at
any time. The only thing you can't revoke consent for, is what already
happened. As soon as you said 'no', he had a duty to respect that.

However, if you don't feel traumatized by it, then it's probably not a
good idea to put a lot of hype into it as a 'rape'. It's probably best
just to acknowledge that he should have pulled out as soon as you said to,
and leave it at that.