I've Been There

 i was hanging out with my sister in law playing shoots and latters with a 9 year old friend of mine. i was 13. i could feel a pare of eyes staring at me when i looked back i could see it was my sister in law's brother.

my sister in law had to go to the store my friend didn't want to be cooped in the house all day but i was tiered of going in to town so i stayed home. i knew it was going to be a long wait because going in to town takes an hour and my sister in law is a very slow shopper.

i plop on the couch and started to wach the basketball game with my nephew. then the phone rings and then next thing i know is that my brother in law is sitting on the other side of the room and my nephew at a concert.

my brother in law goes up the stairs then in about 10 min he calls me up. i go up wondering why he wanted to talk to me. he holds out a bong and tells me to take a hit. i do as he says. i notice that stuff was strong too strong to be any oldinary weed.

i then notice the room going all blury and disy. he gives me water. after a while i could see him clearly he asks if i want another hit i told no. then he asks if i want to play a game. i said "sure what game?" then he throws me on to the bed and climbs on to me and starts to take off my pants.

next thing i know is that he is on top of me and in me. i begged him to stop. and i tried to push him off but i was so weak and peturfied. he kept raping me and going on and on. then when he heard the the grodge door open he gets off me gets dressed and tells me to get dressed too and tells never to tell any body about this.

i was so scared of him i did as i was told. but it kept happining. any time no one was at the house he would rape me. i kept trying to get a way from him as much as possible as i could but he new my plans and told me to stay or he would kill me in my sleep. so i did as i was told. but he wouldn't stop.

i kept trying to tell him no but he was so much stronger. it was like a rutain. he would give me a hit of some kind of weird drug but then he wouldnt give me water or any thing he would just go and rape me.

then i was sick of what was happining and went to the store with my sister in law and talk to her about her brother and told her what he was dong to me. she was so shocked. i thought she wouldn't beleive me and i told her that and she said "the look in your eyes told me you were telling the truth."

when me and my sister in law got home there was police cars and fire truckes out side. it seemed that my brother in law had tried to commited suiside.

"there was a not on the floor for you miss." one police officer said i read the note it was from him. the note said

i am sorry for what i did to you. you made me feel like i was the only one for you. i felt like the only way you would love is from this. im sorry i was wrong. i never wanted you to be unhappy. i am very sorry i ever said those harsh things.

when i read the note i bursted out in tears. when i got to the hospital i forgave my brother in law. now me and him are just friends. we get along and i help him through. he never cumitted a crime after that. i didn't press charges i didn't want to and all i really wanted was what i got an letter saying sorry.

i am 16 now and me and my brother in law are just friends and we both r seeing other people. we protect each other and help one another. but my sister in law asn't forgaven him which i dont understand but i hope some day she will.


iknowhowyoufeel iknowhowyoufeel 16-17 3 Responses Jun 11, 2008

Your Response



well as long ur ok

I have been raped also, or touched inappropriately at the wrong age. My father allowed a very educated, somewhat wealthy, definately powerful woman to touch my genitals at a young age, in exchange for what ????? i dont know. he is a silent perpertrator....... and I allowed her too several times after that as an innocent child not knowing it was wrong. after my mom died , i was 16 she poisioned my orange juice and raped me, taking my virginity , estranged from my husband at an older age she also raped me again in the middle of the night after i was drugged by her. My father gave her a power over me, so she would know personal things like where i was, where i was going, where i lived, etc. My father positioned me to be vulnerable to her. The crazy thing is I have a love for her too, a fondness. I would be very careful to ever be around her though and im very protective of my children that they dont encounter abuse as I have. Awareness is a major key in protecting yourself and others you love......You see, I had alot of denial, I would wake up from being raped from her involvement and think it had been a dream dispite, having a huge hemmrhoid, or shirt on backwards, or bra off, or suck marks on my breast. You REALLY NEED TO READ UP ON A PHENOMENOM CALLED STOCKHOLM SYNDROME. I suffer from it myself with my rapist. I do believe in forgiveness, to free ourselves from bondage and the cycle of sickness. But you must always be aware of those who cross boundaries. I do believe part of stockholm syndrome is we are very understanding people and can see the good motives behind the criminal behavior. Like a person stealing for food to feed their family.......but becareful and be aware you might suffer from that syndrome too. I am aware that I suffer from it and I know all the reasons why I suffer from it which i can not discuss in a post as short as this. Good luck to you, and may God heal us all through his pure and perfect love.